


Could We Pretend

by breakatake



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Alexander is sad and in love, Almost Unrequited Love, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Gay Thomas Jefferson, Happy Ending, John Laf and Herc are supportive, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Ouch, Parties, Thomas likes James, but he leans more towards guys, but so much angst, but they’re best friends don’t worry, detailed makeouts, eliza is his ex gf, james is straight, jeggy is the best couple, pining Alexander, so is mulette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-19 02:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 20,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakatake/pseuds/breakatake
Summary: Thomas begs Alexander to be his “boyfriend” for two months because he accidentally slips up and tells James that he met somebody.





	1. Alexander

**Author's Note:**

> NEW STORY TIME!!!

Alexander was doing his homework in peaceful silence.

That was until his roommate Thomas Jefferson came into the room with two cups of starbucks coffee. Now, Alexander would never refuse a cup of coffee. But here's the thing, Thomas Jefferson didn't exactly _like_ him. Him and Jefferson were sworn enemies from the beginning of high school. It was a complete coincidence that he and Thomas ended up in the same college  _and_ ended up dorming with him. It was like the universe was against Alexander, or something. He literally  _screamed_ when Thomas ended up being his roommate. He  _actually_ wanted to throw up. It was almost repulsing to him.

So, when Jefferson offered him a cup of coffee, he stared at it instead of accepting it. 

"Aren't you going to take it?" Jefferson slightly waved the cup in front of his face and Alexander narrowed his eyes. 

"How do I know it isn't poisoned?"

Jefferson sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just accept the fucking coffee, I need to ask you a question." Alexander turned his swivel chair around to face Jefferson and take the coffee. He glared up at Jefferson who sat on his own bed and looked at Alexander. 

Jefferson scratched the back of his head nervously and wiped his hands on his jeans.

"Well, get on with it. What do you need to ask me?" Alexander was growing impatient, he just wanted to get back to writing professor Washington's paper for PoliSci. Jefferson hesitated and watched as Alexander took a sip of the coffee.

"I need you to fake date me for two months because I accidentally told James that I had a boyfriend in order to avoid telling him I have feelings for him and Lafayette has a boyfriend." Jefferson spoke so fast that it was difficult for Alexander to even make out what he said, but he understood completely and almost spit his coffee at Jefferson and his eyes turned so wide Jefferson swore they would fall out of their sockets. Jefferson nervously chuckled and clasped his hands together. Alexander watched a bead of sweat fall down Jefferson's face and he narrowed his eyes. Jefferson was asking  _him_ , Alexander Hamilton, his  _sworn enemy_ since freshman year of high school, to be his  _boyfriend for two whole fucking months?_ Alexander was having a hard time processing this. 

"First of all," Alexander started. "What the  _everliving fuck?_ You want  _me_ to date  _you_ for  _two months?!_ " His voice got high pitched as he finished the question and he stared at Jefferson as if he had three heads. Alexander thought about it for a second. He supposed it would be fun, or whatever. It would _definitely_ freak all of his friends out. But this also meant  _kissing_ Jefferson and  _holding his hand_. Alexander gagged at the thought alone. Jefferson nodded at his question and Alexander glared. "What's in it for me?" he questioned and Jefferson groaned and flopped back on the bed, thinking hard for a moment.

"I won't argue with you in Washington's class for a month and I'll do your calculus homework." He uttered and Alexander grinned evilly. He was more than elated to have somebody do his calculus homework, he hated calculus more than anything in the whole world. Alexander shrugged and looked at Jefferson. 

"Fine." he breathed out and Jefferson sat up quickly and smiled. 

"Really?" he asked and Alexander nodded. 

"Yeah, it'll freak my friends out too. It should be fun." he admitted and Jefferson nodded.

What the  _fuck_ was he getting himself into?


	2. Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas and Alexander make a list of rules.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guyssss how are you? i’m super sleepy and i have a quiz tmm

“Do we  _really_ need to make a list of rules?” Hamilton sighed as he slid into a booth at Martha’s cafe, a usual spot for Thomas and his friends to get food. “I get it, don’t fall in love with you and we don’t kiss and cuddle in private. Isn’t that it?” Hamilton asked in a tone that was annoying Thomas, and he put his chin in his hand.

Thomas found himself rolling his eyes at Hamilton and wanting to literally spill hot coffee into his eyes. Hamilton was being a  _pain_ about all of this. Jesus on a bike, he just wanted to get through this list without arguing. Thomas was beginning to think that even  _that_ was impossible because Hamilton disagreed with almost everything he said.

”Yes, Hamilton.” Thomas sounded irritated and Hamilton put his hands up in defense. “We need a list because you need to know how to do this, since you can’t seem to do anything correctly when told to.” He snorted at his own statement and Hamilton pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“It was  _one fucking time_ Maria asked if I could do the whole project even though Washington specified it was a partnered project and I said yes instead of no. I didn’t know how to fucking say no!” Hamilton squeaked and Thomas compared the sound to one that a rat would make. “And for your information,  _Jeffershit,_ I did it correctly. I just..” he trailed off. “I just didn’t listen to Washington’s strict rules on it being a partnered project.” Hamilton crossed his arms and stuck his nose in the air and Thomas felt himself rubbing his hand over his face in irritation. 

Thomas stood up and mumbled “I’m gonna get us some coffee. Stay here and write whatever rules sound good to you in the notepad and then we’ll rewrite them.” he grumbled, sounding angry and Hamilton just nodded in response. Thomas walked over to the counter and he ordered two coffees, one black and one with caramel creamer. Martha saw the look on his face and she gave him a smug grin. “Do you two ever stop fighting?” She laughed and Jefferson just rolled his eyes. 

“Maybe when he starts acting like a 20 year old man and  _not_ a toddler, I’ll stop arguing with him.”

Martha just snorted in response and gave him his coffees. Thomas made his way back over to Hamilton, who was scribbling in the notepad and Thomas sat down and glanced over the table to look at what he was writing. Thomas noticed how hard he pressed the pen and he cringed.  _That must hurt,_ Thomas thought to himself. 

“What do you have down?” Thomas furrowed his eyebrows and he slid the coffee across the table to Hamilton. Hamilton didn’t answer until he finished writing his sentence and he gave the notepad over to Thomas. 

Thomas snorted as soon as he read the first line. 

The first line read “Don’t fall in love.”

 _”Me? Fall in love with you?!”_ Thomas couldn’t have ever heard a funnier joke than that. There was no way in hell that Thomas could ever fall in love with somebody as repulsive as  _Hamilton._ He could never, he was all too annoying in Thomas’ opinion.

Besides, Thomas was far from over James.

“I wouldn’t fall in love with you even if you were the last person on the planet.” Thomas laughed and Hamilton just rolled his eyes and hit him with the pen. 

“Have you got anything better?” Hamilton gritted out and took a sip of his coffee. Thomas shrugged and decided that he really didn’t. 

About a half hour later, they had a list of about 8 rules. 

**1\. Don’t fall in love.**

**2\. Kiss and hold hands.**

**3\. No “canoodling” outside of the act**

Thomas didn’t even know what the fuck canoodling meant.

**4\. Give back any sweatshirts that are borrowed (Hamilton don’t fucking steal my shirts.)**

Thomas had wrote that because he was absolutely disgusted with the idea of seeing that hobbit wearing his expensive sweatshirts.

**5\. Try not to argue as much during Washington’s class. It’ll make the fake relationship seem fake.**

**6\. WEAR CHAPSTICK HAMILTON.**

Thomas was so damn tired of seeing Hamilton lick his lips and he refused to kiss Hamilton if his lips were cracked and dry, there was no way in  _hell_ that he would oblige to that. 

**7\. Make sure to not slip up.**

**8\. THIS ONLY LASTS 2 MONTHS. NO LONGER.**

Hamilton and Thomas conversed and compromised until the list seemed perfect. They decided on those 8 rules, Hamilton was fine with it. They shook on it and each signed the bottom. 

So it begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have a lovely day/night/afternoon you lovely humans!


	3. Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day one: convince everybody that you’re together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and sO IT BEGINS!!!! i couldn’t sleep so i began writing a new chapter

Alexander groaned at the sound of his alarm, rolling over to grab his phone and turn it off. It was around 7 and his first lecture was at 8, which was the polisci lecture he had with Jefferson. Alexander glanced over at Jefferson’s bed and he realized that Jefferson was still fast asleep, soft snores escaping his lips. Alexander  _would’ve_ thought it was cute, if it was anybody  _but_ Jefferson. 

Alexander dragged himself out of bed and he shuffled on sock clad feet to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, rubbing at his eyes. He didn’t know how long he slept, all he knew was this was the first time he had actually slept in about a week. He felt pretty good, considering the fact that his body never got rest and  _finally_ did. He felt refreshed and awake, for once in his life. Alexander typed a quick text to his group chat with John, Lafayette, and Hercules.

**To The Boyos: good morning whores**

Alexander locked his phone and brushed his teeth and washed his face, then brushed his hair. When he finished doing whatever he needed to do and changed, it was around 7:30. Alexander stepped out of the bathroom, only to find Jefferson still asleep. His mouth was slightly open and he clung to his blanket like his life depended on it. 

Alexander rolled his eyes and walked over to his bed and sat on the side of it, shaking Jefferson’s shoulder gently. “Jefferson, hey.” Alexander whispered and Jefferson just groaned and swatted at his hand. “Thomas Jefferson, wake up. It’s 7:30.” Alexander felt a pang of irritation in his stomach as Jefferson refused to get out of bed. Alexander decided to have one last jab of getting him out of bed. 

He got up and then flopped on top of Jefferson, then almost immediately flew off because Jefferson had shot out of bed and pushed Alexander off like he was some sort of bug.

“‘M up.” Jefferson’s voice was deep and raspy in the morning, his southern drawl more evident from sleep. Alexander would be lying if he said he didn’t find it attractive, but he would never admit that because he was supposed to  _hate_ Jefferson, not think he was hot. (even though Alexander totally thought he was hot.) 

Alexander watched as Jefferson scrambled to the bathroom and for ready in a rush so the two wouldn’t be late for their PoliSci lecture. They usually never left together, but they were supposed to be “dating”, so in order to make that evident they had to hold hands on the way to class.

Alexander scrolled through instagram as he waited on his “boyfriend” to get out of the bathroom. It was around 7:45 when Jefferson emerged wearing gray sweats and a purple hoodie, his glasses on his face and his hair wild and frizzy. Alexander was about to comment about how he looked like a mess until Jefferson glared at him and Alexander decided to just keep his mouth shut. Alexander and Jefferson headed out of their dorm, hand in hand. Alexander had his smaller fingers laced between Jefferson’s long ones as they walked through the halls of the dorm, heading to the main building. They passed multiple people they knew, getting weird looks and “oh my gosh, you guys are together? I should’ve known”’s. Alexander mentally gagged and Jefferson dug his nails into the back of Alexander’s hand then leaned down to whisper “Just fucking go along with it.” through his teeth and Alexander rolled his eyes but leaned up and pressed a kiss to Jefferson’s cheek, who tried not to be disgusted as he forced himself to grin. 

They made their way into Washington’s lecture and as soon as they walked in, Alexander saw James’ and John’s faces drop and John’s face turned from one of glee to one of pure disgust. John pulled his phone out and texted “we’re talking later” to Alexander and James just smirked at Jefferson. Alexander knew James thought they were together - well mostly everybody did. If they didn’t think him and John were together, it was him and Jefferson - for some reason. Alexander took his seat next to John and Jefferson took his seat next to James.

The lecture dragged on, Alexander felt himself growing tired because of his lack of sleep - he didn’t feel as energetic as he did when he woke up. However, John kept him awake by tapping him every now and then and scribbling things in Alexander’s notebook like small smiley faces and weird little drawings that John liked to make to make Alexander laugh. Alexander ended up staying awake for the whole lecture and as soon as they were dismissed, John grabbed his arm and grimaced at Jefferson. “I’m stealing your boyfriend for a bit, go hang out with James.” he muttered and pulled Alexander out of the room before Jefferson or Alexander even had the chance to argue. 

John looked at Alexander with this look of pure confusion and began to speak.  _“Jefferson?! Really?”_ John shook his head at his best friend who just tried to explain himself. “Out of all people, seriously? I hate him.” John rubbed his temples and Alexander sighed and leaned against the wall. He hated this. He hated this so much. 

Alexander had to think quick. “John, I was repulsed at first when I caught feelings, but he isn’t that bad.” Alexander felt himself explaining and he was disgusted that he had to pretend to like Jefferson. “He’s sweet and he treats me well, I promise. He makes me happy.” Alexander was lying through his teeth, he tried so hard to not make it seem like he was lying because John could read him like an open book and  _Alexander fucking hated it._

But somehow, Alexander managed to pull a face that showed sincerity and word his phrases as if he meant them. John looked at him for a second then just pulled him into a hug saying “If he makes you happy, then it’s cool. But do I have to start calling him  _Thomas?”_ John cringed at the thought and Alexander laughed and shook his head. 

“No, John. You don’t.” He chuckled and linked his arm with John’s as they walked to their calculus lecture. 

———

After all of his classes were done, Alexander had to wait for Jefferson because he had made plans with James so he could meet Jefferson’s “boyfriend” and so that Jefferson could meet James’ girlfriend, Dolley. 

He was just sitting in the starbucks near their campus when he heard a familiar french accent call his name and a smile grew on his face when he turned around to see Lafayette and Hercules, two of his other best friends, walk into starbucks. He waved them over and Lafayette leaned down to press kisses to Alexander’s cheeks and Hercules hugged him. Alexander smiled at the two when Hercules stated he would be going to get them something to drink and Lafayette sat down with Alexander. 

Lafayette took one look at Alexander and stated “Thomas asked you to be his fake boyfriend, yes?” and Alexander groaned and put his head on the table. Lafayette chuckled and patted his head. How was Lafayette able to read him so easily? He was literally just  _breathing._ “It is okay, mon ami. I won’t tell anybody.” Lafayette winked and Alexander his his face from embarrassment. “Just don’t fall for him.” Lafayette joked again, earning a slap on the arm and Hercules had come back in that moment.  _Perfect._ Alexander thought to himself and he took a sip of his coffee. 

Hercules sat next to Lafayette and stole a kiss from his cheek. “What are you making fun of Alex for now?” Hercules let out a soft laugh and Lafayette shrugged and smirked. “Just his new  _amor.”_ Lafayette stated in a flirtatious voice and Alexander hid his face in his hands again. 

“Fuck you.”

”No thanks.” Lafayette laughed and Hercules almost choked on his coffee.

” _Amor?!_ Who?!” He squeaked and Alexander shook his head.

”You’ll figure it out.” 

It was just then that Jefferson decided to walk through the door and he walked over to Alexander and beamed at him as he said “Hey babe!” and Hercules swore he was hallucinating. 

Alexander leaned up and Jefferson pressed a kiss to his lips.

Oh.  _Oh._

That was the first time they’d kissed. Alexander took note that Jefferson’s lips were really  _really_ soft and they tasted of fruit flavored chapstick. Jefferson’s lips were smooth as fuck as they moved against Alexander’s own and Alexander pulled away, almost stunned but he remembered that he’s  _supposed to be used to this._

Alexander smiled up at him and then turned back to Hercules who just stared at them with his jaw dropped so far, it could almost touch the ground. Alexander shrugged and gave him a nervous smile. 

“Surprise?” He chuckled nervously and Hercules pointed at him.

”We are talking about this tonight, mister.” 

“What are you, my dad?” Alexander scoffed and Hercules raised an eyebrow at him.

Hercules and Lafayette practically were his parents at this point because of his lack thereof. So, Alexander shouldn’t have even asked that. 

Alexander sighed. “Fine, okay. I’ll come the apartment later. We’ll talk.” he agreed and stood up walking over to him to hug him around the neck and kiss Lafayette’s cheek. “I’ll see you guys later, love you.” 

With that, Alexander walked out of the starbucks with Jefferson, hand in hand. As soon as they were far enough, Alexander wiped his lips and fake gagged. 

“Repulsive.” He stated and Jefferson rolled his eyes in irritation.

”You’re just mad that my chapstick tastes good.” 

Alexander pretended to be irritated, but really he wasn’t.

Jefferson’s chapstick did taste good.

———

Jefferson and Alexander walked hand in hand to Martha’s where they saw James and Dolley already sitting in a booth. Alexander smiled politely at her and James grinned at his best friend and his “boyfriend”. He waved them over and James stood up and smiled at Alexander, which Alexander felt weird about because James was never kind to him. He was probably only being nice because Alexander was with Jefferson now. Alexander took notice to the fact that that when Jefferson saw Dolley and James holding hands, his face dropped. He made a mental note to ask him about that later.

Alexander looked up at Jefferson, who had a heartbroken expression on and he squeezed his hand. He leaned up to whisper “you okay?” in his ear and kiss his cheek, half because he was supposed to keep up an act and half because he was actually worried, which surprised him. Since he was going to be spending so much time around Jefferson, he might as well actually be interested or  _attempt_ to be interested in him.

Jefferson just nodded in response and sat in the booth across from Dolley and James. Jefferson shook her hand and smiled. “Thomas, Thomas Jefferson. I’m James’ best friend.” He smiled and she nodded and shook his hand back. “I’m Dolley.” 

Alexander looked at James and raised an eyebrow. “You already know me.” Alexander laughed and shook Dolley’s hand. “I’m Alexander Hamilton, the best friend’s boyfriend.” He said as politely as possible. He looked at Jefferson who was forcing a smile out and he furrowed his eyebrows and put his hand on top of his over the table, trying to keep up the act. 

James looked at Alexander then Jefferson and he just shrugged. The four of them started casual conversation, the normal “you’re dating my best friend, let’s talk” questions. They ate some food and Alexander realized that James was pretty convinced. He never furrowed his eyebrows or gave Jefferson a look. He seemed to believe the whole act, and for that Alexander was grateful. 

By the time they were leaving, James gave Jefferson a hug and shook Alexander’s hand. Alexander and Jefferson both hugged Dolley and then they said their goodbyes. As soon as they walked out, Alexander looked up at Jefferson and gave him a confused look. Jefferson ignored him, squeezing his hand tighter and Alexander noticed he was holding back tears. Alexander’s eyes widened and he walked in front of him, leading him back to the dorm building. 

As much as he hated Jefferson, he definitely needed a friend right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have a wonderful day/night/afternoon you amazing people


	4. Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas admits that he’s in love with James and Alexander actually feels bad for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y’all i’m stressed af over the fuckin callbacks for the school musical and i wanna cry bc i don’t think i’ll get a lead but i want a lead i actually sang burn for my audition and stunned everyone but i really and TRULY doubt i’ll get a good role and now i’m sad but how are you guys tell me about your day also this is a run on sentence bc i’m dumb lazy and i don’t wanna use punctuation *inhale* TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY!  
> also side note: these chapters are written alexander thomas alexander thomas to show POV so in Thomas’ pov alexander is called hamilton and vise versa for alexander’s pov :-)

Hamilton led Thomas into their dorm room and he made him sit down on the bed as he grabbed him a bottle of water. Thomas didn’t even watch him, he just looked down at the floor. The thought of James with somebody else absolutely broke his heart and Thomas couldn’t handle it. He felt like his heart was being wrenched because he had fallen in love so long ago and just assumed James wasn’t straight, then he found out he was only a few months ago. It isn’t easy to fall out of love, because you spend so long falling in love. Thomas spent almost every waking moment with James. They ate together, walked together, studied together. Thomas found himself falling in love with James’ stress, his monotone way of speaking when he was in a neutral mood, his excited voice when he heard something that made him happy. Thomas found himself wanting to hear James talk, to hear him laugh. He found himself wanting to hold him when he was sad, to kiss him while he laughed. He wanted to stay up until late hours with him talking about life, listening to his insane thoughts at 3 in the morning. He found himself realizing that he wanted to run his hands through his hair as he helped him memorize words for his classes and he found his heart fluttering whenever he would laugh. Thomas fell in love with James slowly, but all at once. It hit him like a frying pan the day he realized it, because that same day he got his heart broken as James had met a girl that day (not Dolley, a different girl). Thomas was still in love, it’s so hard to get over somebody who you see and speak to every single day of your fucking life. Thomas didn’t know if he was capable of it. 

Hamilton sat next to Thomas and gave him the water bottle. “Wanna talk about it?” he softly questioned and Thomas just looked at him. Thomas didn’t  _want_ to tell Hamilton, but he didn’t exactly trust anybody besides James and Lafayette, and clearly Lafayette wasn’t here right now. He really had no choice but to tell Hamilton what was wrong. 

He inhaled softly, trying to hold the tears in.

”I’m in love with James.” 

Hamilton nodded and looked away. “I figured. I see the way you look at him.” he said softly and he put his hand on his shoulder and gave him a sympathetic smile. “I understand how it is. I know bad that hurts.” Hamilton sounded sincere and this made Thomas pick his head up and looked at him. “Listen, Jefferson,” he sighed. “I know you don’t like me, I know that we’re being forced to do this right now, but we’re going to be doing this for two months and we’re going to  _have_ to trust each other. We don’t have to fall in love, or whatever bullshit,” Thomas found himself chuckling at Hamilton’s words and he wiped a tear away. “but we can learn to get along. If whatever’s happening with James bothers you, you can tell me. Maybe this will help you get over it - and no I’m not saying you’ll fall in love with me, that’s repulsing, dear god-“ Hamilton fake gagged and Thomas pushed his arm gently. “but we can try our best to be acquaintances.” he finished his statement and Thomas looked at him, tears still filling his eyes. 

“yeah,” he breathed out. “I’m okay with that.” 

Hamilton nodded and got up, gently patting Thomas on the shoulder. “Great, so as acquaintences and fake boyfriends, shall we watch a Harry Potter movie until I have to go see Hercules and Lafayette?” Hamilton smiles and Thomas scoffed.

”Percy Jackson is better.”

Hamilton’s mouth dropped open and he crossed his arms.

”Is not.”

”Is too.”

”Is nOt!” Hamilton whined and Thomas found himself standing in front of him.

”Is too. Now, since I’m sad,” Thomas licked his lips. “We’re watching Percy Jackson and the sea of monsters.” He smirked and Hamilton groaned and fell back on his bed. 

“Whatever, Jefferson.” 

Thomas found himself grinning at Hamilton like a maniac and he grabbed his laptop and popped the movie into the cd drive. He laid down on Hamilton’s bed and but the laptop between them two. 

Thomas’ mind drifted off to other thoughts. He knew this was supposed to take his mind off of things, but he couldn’t stop thinking of James. His heart ached, he felt horrible. He just wanted him but he knew James wouldn’t want him back. His mind wandered fo Hamilton, and this stunt that they were pulling. It was a crazy thought, and Thomas mentally gagged thinking of it, but what if Hamilton was the reason he got over James? 

Gross, no.

He didn’t want to think of that.

Thomas immersed himself in the movie and pushed away any sad thoughts about James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAVE A LOVELY DAY/NIGHT/AFTERNOON YOU LOVELY COCONUTS


	5. Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander has a boys’ night with Hercules, Lafayette, and John.  
> Also, Alexander's backstory is explained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyy it’s diwali so i’m lighting the dia soon (it was like 5 when i wrote this hi) (if you’re hindu you know what i mean) but i decided let’s start a new chapter before i light dia  
> ALSO IF YOU KNOW WHERE I GOT JOHNNYCAKE FROM YOURE THE BEST!  
> also im writing this as i watch the new riverdale ep, im shook asf im writing this during commercials

Jefferson had fallen asleep halfway through the movie and Alexander found himself pausing the movie and shutting the laptop, careful not to wake him. He grabbed the blanket at the foot of his bed and pulled them carefully over Jefferson. Alexander was confusing himself, he hated how nice he was being. But Jefferson was sad, and Alexander was  _kind of_ a nice person (he totally wasn’t), so he decided to not be an asshole today. 

Since it was a Friday afternoon and Alexander had plans with Hercules and Lafayette, he decided to just invite John as well and make it a guys’ night since they hadn’t had one in awhile. Alexander pulled his phone out and texted John.

 **To Johnnycake:** let’s go to laf and herc’s and eat grilled cheese pls :-) pls pls pls pls

He got a text within minutes. 

 **From Johnnycake:** fine. i’ll meet u outside in 5 and we’ll walk there 

Alexander smiles and slipped his phone into his pocket as he jogged down to the front of the campus. Alexander looked around until he caught a glimpse of a curly puff of hair and he grinned, running over to John and jumping on his back, earning a scream. 

“Alex!” John shrieked. He caught his breath and Alexander bursted into laughter as his best friend clutched his chest. Alexander smiled at John who shoved him and Alexander linked his arm with John’s as they began to walk.

”So, how was your date with Pegs?” Alexander smirked and John’s cheeks turned pink and he rolled his eyes.

”I had fun, Eliza bumped into us and kept making fun of us and Peggy threw bread at her.” Alexander laughed at the image in his head.

”That’s your girlfriend for you.” 

John grinned proudly and nodded. “That’s my girl.” he laughed and looked down.

”Speaking of Eliza, I should get breakfast with her and tell her about Thomas.” Alexander wondered aloud and he almost cringed at saying Jefferson’s first name, but he remembered he was supposed to.

John nodded at Alexander and he looked ahead as they walked. “I find it weird.” John simply stated and Alexander agreed. “I mean,” Alexander listened to John as he spoke his mind. “You guys have hated each other for so long, why the sudden switch?” He asked and Alexander almost panicked.

He and Jefferson  _never_ talked about their “story”. He didn’t exactly know what to say. Alexander was used to thinking fast on the spot and coming up with things. 

“Um, we fucked.” he spoke fast and John choked on air. John stopped in his tracks and looked at Alexander, stunned.

" _you touched his **dick?!**_ " John's voice got high pitched and Alexander sheepishly nodded, trying to keep his face in a certain expression that wouldn't reveal his lie.

"We fucked and then he told me he liked me and... yeah..." Alexander trailed off and he looked away. He felt his heart racing, he hoped that John would believe him. He felt horrible lying to John, but he had to make this seem believable. The only other person who knew was Lafayette, and he was determined to keep it that way. Alexander looked up at John with a slanted smile and John didn't say anything, he just shook his head and kept walking with his arm linked with Alexander's. They walked in awkward silence because of what Alexander just revealed until John said "Well, now two of my friends have touched Jefferson's dick." he smirked at Alexander who shoved him playfully and rolled his eyes.

"Him and Laf look like each other, that was weird for me to hear." Alexander grimaced and John nodded and pulled a face. 

"If Jefferson tied his hair up, he'd look like Laf."

Alexander groaned. "Does this mean I sucked Laf's dick?"

John let out a noise of disgust and shuddered. " _Never_ say that again. Laf and Thomas are two different people, never  _ever._ They may  _look_ alike, but they are  _nothing_ alike." Alexander thought for a second about how contrasting Lafayette and Jefferson are then nodded in agreement with John.

Once they reached the apartment building, John called Hercules' phone and made him come down to unlock the door. Once he did so, they raced up the stairs (Hercules won, he had the longest legs) ad Alexander went inside with them. Alexander smelled the familiar aroma of pizza filling the air and he swooned. "Yum, I'll be having some of that." Alexander grinned and he pulled his sneakers off and went straight to the kitchen to get a slice. Lafayette smiled at Alexander and greeted him and then they all gathered in the living room. John told the three about his date with Peggy, all of them aweing at how adorable the two of them were. Alexander felt happiness in his chest, he was proud that his best friend found something true and real after his last  _devastating_ relationship. 

_Something true and real._

Alexander found his mind wandering off at the thought of that. "True and real" was something that he never really experienced. He had a few relationships, even dated Hercules for awhile. Things were  _real_ , but never true. He never felt like somebody loved him truly. It was weird, Alexander had never really understood love.

Back when he lived in Nevis, his father left him and his mother, so he always thought everybody would leave. It was scary, really. He never expected his friends to be permanently in his life. He didn't tell them much and pushed them away. He never let people in and kept his guard up a lot so that he wouldn't have to deal with the pain. When people stayed, he was scared. Afraid that they would go just like he did. When he was ten, his mother died of a serious illness, he couldn't even remember what it was. All he knew was that his mother died holding him. Alexander came to America after that and he was put into the foster care system. He never got close with his foster families. The last family was the only one he liked, and he still kept in contact but they weren't close. In high school, Alexander met his friends who he was with right now. They were more of his family than his foster families ever were. He trusted them. Their friendship was the only thing Alexander knew as  _true and real._ So, seeing all of his friends in love was weird to him. He was the only one who never really experienced love, not counting Eliza. When they broke up, they equally decided they were both into the same gender more than the opposite. So, he never really experienced anything outside of platonic love.

Alexander hadn't even noticed that he zoned out until Hercules waved a hand in front of his face. He shook his head and looked up.

"Huh?" he furrowed his eyebrows and Lafayette looked at him weird.

"He asked about you and Thomas. He asked if he makes you happy and how you two even got together, though I don't think you should tell him what you told me." Just smirked then saw Alexander's lack of reaction. "You okay?" he questioned and Alexander took in a sharp breath and nodded.

"I'm fine." He stated and he looked at Hercules and gave him a weak smile. "He does make me happy." Alexander lied. "He's super cuddly and really,  _really_ sweet and loving. We tried to keep it lowkey, but I think he was tired of that. He said he wanted to show me off." Alexander smiled and looked down, tucking his hair behind his ear shyly.  _Damn, I can act_  Alexander thought to himself. He came up with a pretty good story on the spot and he was surprised and happy that his friends believed and trusted it.

But he felt bad, because he was lying. But, he felt like he had to, to protect Jefferson, which was weird.

Hercules smiled at him and patted his shoulder. Alexander smiled at him as Hercules began saying "I trust him with you, if he hurts you I'll kill him because you're my son." his tone was serious, which was different from his normal joking tone. So, Alexander just nodded at him.

"I love you guys." he mumbled honestly and John's face turned up as he yelled "aWWW ALEX!" and jumped on top of Alexander's small body earning an 'oof'. Lafayette jumped on top of John, followed by Hercules and Alexander whined from the bottom.

"Fuck you guys," he started, his bones were hurting because he was the smallest out of the group. "Get off, please. I can't breathe." he laughed and tried to shove at them, but Hercules applied more pressure and Alexander fake cried.

Hercules got off, eventually. They all ended up in a huge, weird cuddle pile on the couch and they ended up talking until the four of them felt too tired. 

Alexander felt content, for now at least.


	6. Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’ve been keeping this up for about a month now, everybody’s used to it. Thomas still loves James, him and Alexander create a friendship.  
> Thomas is sad, Alexander likes Thomas. Like actually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so like idk wtf my ao3 is doing but it keeps adding my end note from the first chapter and ?? JUST IGNORE THE SECOND END NOTE ALRIGHT

 Thomas was getting used to this, and he was really hoping that he wouldn’t. It’s been about a month now and he was getting used to kissing somebody and not feeling anything, holding somebody in front of other’s, then acting like nothing was up behind closed doors. He was  _showing_ he was dating somebody, but never felt it. Thomas didn’t have feelings for Hamilton  _at all,_ but he didn’t hate him. Since that night he admitted that he had feelings for James to Hamilton, they’d been  _actually_ talking like civil human beings. He learned that Hamilton wasn’t as repulsing as he thought, but he still called him Hamilton.

Hamilton started calling him Thomas.

It was weird, honestly. Since Hamilton met him, he had been calling him Jefferson. Jefferson this, Jefferson that. Hamilton never said his actual name.

So when Hamilton laughed and said “Shut up, Thomas.”, Thomas was shocked. He liked it, and he didn’t want to admit that. 

It was a nice change. Thomas liked having somebody to talk to besides just Lafayette and James. He liked being able to confide in somebody without the stress of them telling anybody. He found himself strangely  _trusting Hamilton._

It was about 8 p.m. and Hamilton was sitting at his desk, writing an essay as Jefferson did his discrete mathematics homework. Hamilton was a PoliSci major while Jefferson was a computer science major, but they were both in Washington’s PoliSci lecture.

Thomas looked up and threw a pen, hitting the back of Hamilton’s head who just turned around and gave him a look. “Thomas, I’m going to choke you. I have to finish this essay.” He muttered and turned back around. Thomas groaned and flopped backwards. 

“Come  _on_ Hamilton.” He whined, just wanting somebody to entertain him because he was so bored he felt like he was  _actually_ going to die. “The essay isn’t due for another two weeks, please take a break. I just feel like..” he trailed off and thought for a second. What did he want to do?

”I wanna go to the diner. Come on, let’s get dinner. Please?” Thomas whined and Hamilton turned around, and Thomas was surprised that he seemed as if he was considering it. “Come on, it’ll be a date.” Thomas joked, a smirk playing on his lips. Hamilton rolled his eyes and he sighed, taking his hair out of the ponytail it was in and tying it in a bun. “Fine, let’s go.” he gave in and Thomas punched the air.

Within minutes, they were piled into Thomas’ car and driving to the nearest diner. Hamilton went to grab Thomas’ hand, who pulled it away and gave him a look.

”Just in case we, you know, bump into somebody we know..” Hamilton trailed off and Thomas  _swore_ he could see the hint of a blush dusting his cheeks. Thomas ultimately decided to ignore it and just take Hamilton’s hand in his own, swinging it back and forth in as they walked into the small diner. Thomas loved this diner, mainly because he and James came here often to get lunch together. It was possibly his favorite diner, like ever. 

Thomas put his name down and they got a booth within a few minutes, a waitress coming up to give them menus and water. Hamilton quickly decided what he wanted and Thomas was still reading the menu. Thomas saw in his peripheral vision that Hamilton had his chin in his hand and he was sort of.. staring? You could call it that. Thomas felt, not uncomfortable just.. shy under Hamilton’s stare. Hamilton looked away after a few minutes, awkwardly, and Thomas looked up and said “I know what I want.” Hamilton just nodded and Thomas furrowed his eyebrows.

”You alright?” He asked and Hamilton didn’t say anything he just looked away and nodded again.

”’m just super sleepy, ‘s all.” Hamilton took in a breath and rubbed his eye with the back of his hand. “Calculus drained me today. My professor embarrassed me.” he admitted and Thomas pouted. 

“Sorry.”

Hamilton just nodded.

A waitress came to take their orders, and they quickly answered before giving them their menus and Hamilton went back to being silent. 

Thomas felt bad, usually Hamilton didn’t get upset like this. He was always upbeat and super annoying, Hamilton had an eccentric personality, but it drew so many people towards him. Thomas had to think fast - how could he cheer him up?

”Guess what?” Thomas grinned and Hamilton picked his head up and looked at him, nodding a bit.

”I have a story for you.” Thomas smiled. “So, once, Lafayette and I were like  _super_ bored and we wanted to prank somebody. Of course, the first person we thought of was James, he’s so monotone we didn’t think he would have a reaction.” Thomas giggled under his breath, remembering the incident. “So, James is afraid of the dark, right, and we were having a sleep over. He was in the bathroom, taking  _fucking forever_ to brush his teeth. Lafayette turned out all of the lights, including the bathroom light, and squatted next to the door so that James couldn’t see and when James came out, Lafayette grabbed his leg and screamed ‘I’M GAY’ and James screamed like a little girl.” Thomas bursted into giggles remembering the look on James’ face and Thomas realized that he pulled a giggle out of Hamilton.

”Did you record it?” Hamilton asked and Thomas’ eyes widened as he nodded. 

“Of fucking course I did.”

Hamilton leaned over the table as Thomas pulled up the video of James screaming and Hamilton bursted into a fit of giggles and fell back into his seat. “He sounds like Peggy when we piss her off.” He stated and Jefferson laughed at that. Peggy, Eliza, and Angelica were some of Hamilton’s best friends, but Thomas didn’t even know how they met. All he knew was that Hamilton dated Eliza some time back, and they were still friends. 

“Hey, how did you meet the Schuyler sisters? I’ve been wondering that forever, all of you are so close.” Thomas questioned, finding himself interested. 

Hamilton rubbed his face and then he let out a soft laugh. “Peggy pushed me down the stairs in freshman year and I broke my arm.” he muttered under his breath and Thomas went to speak but Hamilton stopped him. “Don’t even ask, I fucking hate her.” He giggled and shook his head. “I love those three. The sisters and the guys are my family, they’re more of my family than anything.” Hamilton’s voice trailed off and he looked down. Thomas felt confused as Alexander never really told him the story of his family, but he decided it might’ve been too sensitive of a topic. That was until Hamilton started talking about it. 

“My dad left, my mom died. I met the guys in elementary school and they’ve been close to me ever since. They’re the closest to family that I’ve got, and I truly love them more than anything in this world.” Hamilton had a fond smile on his face which also caused Thomas to grin.

”Thomas?” Hamilton questioned and Thomas looked up and hummed. “How come you only talk to James and Lafayette?” 

Thomas stuttered. He didn’t know how to answer. He could answer honestly and tell Hamilton that he was afraid of people because he was scared of what they’d say, how they’d view him. His anxiety always got the better off him, and he hated it. But he was afraid to tell Hamilton, still scared to open up. But he could trust him, right? He hoped. 

“I-um..” Thomas stuttered and looked away. “I’m sort of scared to be friends with people. I’m afraid of how they’ll see me, afraid that they’ll think negatively and leave me. I don’t like being judged.” He admitted. “That’s why I never date, it requires opening up and.. I can’t. It scares me.”

Hamilton looked as if he was deep in thought for a few minutes before responding. 

“You don’t seem scared around me.” Hamilton stated simply and moved closer to rest his elbows on the table and put his chin in his hands.

Thomas shrugged and gave him a kind smile. “I don’t have to be.”

Hamilton looked at him funny.

”Oh yeah? Why’s that?” 

Thomas noted the slightly flirtatious tone in his voice. 

“Because we’re just pretending, we aren’t dating. Once this is over, we can hate each other again.” he stated simply.

He realized that Hamilton mumbled “wow.” and just looked away. He saw the heartbroken expression on his face and he didn’t bother to say anything.

Thomas messed up, but he didn’t know how to say sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love you guys have a great day/night/afternoon


	7. Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander realizes he’s a gay disaster.  
> **flashbacks in bold italics**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short chapter but it’s VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT OKAY  
> also i broke my glasses so i have to wear contacts until i get new ones

It was during one of his late study nights when Alexander had a revelation. He had been avoiding Thomas for a few days. What Thomas has said to him kind of hurt, he didn’t really know what to say. Alexander was hurt, he didn't know why. 

_We're just pretending._

Alexander felt his heart physically crack and he couldn't explain  _why._

But now he knew.

It was one night when Thomas was asleep and Alexander couldn't sleep when he realized why.

As Alexander looked over at Thomas, his lips slightly parted and his hair wild and splayed all over the pillow, Soft snores escaped his lips as his chest rose and fell and Alexander found himself watching. He felt his heart race. He felt the urge to run his hands through his hair and lay his head on his chest as he listened to his heartbeat. All of the times where he had to cuddle with him, he felt butterflies and now he knew why.

_**"Thomas.." Alexander whined as Thomas laid on top of him on Lafayette's couch. They were having a movie night, as they did weekly, and Thomas just wouldn't get the fuck off of Alexander. He was laying on top of him, and Alexander was small and couldn't breathe. Thomas shook his head and just buried his face further into Alexander's chest. Alexander maneuvered Thomas until he was half on top of him and half not. Peggy grinned at Alexander and gave him a thumbs up and Alexander just smiled back. Lafayette rolled his eyes, but kept a smile on his face as he unpaused the movie.** _

_**Alexander found himself running his fingers through Thomas' hair as he watched the movie. He felt Thomas' hands ghost his waist but then come up to rest on his chest and Alexander felt butterflies in his stomach. His cheeks were dusted a light pink as he stared down at Thomas. Alexander admired the way he blinked, how his eyelashes touched his cheeks and how he licked his lips. He watched his tongue dart out every few seconds to lick his lips and Alexander found himself wanting to feel Thomas' lips against his in a setting that wasn't around everybody. He found himself leaning down press a soft kiss to the top of his head and he looked at him in a way that.. he's never even looked at Eliza. He found himself wanting to do this more often, hold him and kiss him. He wanted to hear about his family, hear the stories about James and hear the rants about his lectures. He wanted to have his bathroom counter cluttered with Thomas' stupid hair products and expensive cologne. He wanted strong arms to hold him around the waist and to feel soft lips against his own. He wanted this. He wanted this every second of the day. He wanted Thomas' obsession with earl grey tea, his baggage and anxieties, he wanted to share every moment with him and hear his voice first thing in the morning. ** _

****It was that moment that Alexander knew

he was undeniably, irrevocably in love with Thomas Jefferson.

He couldn't exactly figure out  _why._ Thomas was a fucking dick, he was so annoying. Alexander was  _fucking mad_ because he didn't want to fall in love.

He couldn't bring himself to understand that it was good to fall in love.

He hated this. He hated not knowing how he fell in love with Thomas,

it just happened. Slowly, but all at once. Sort of like being hit with a frying pan.

Alexander slowly got up and he grabbed his phone, texting John that he was coming to his apartment. It was one in the morning, but he had a spare key.

He needed to leave.

\------

When he arrived, he unlocked the door and John was already there waiting in the living room.

"Fighting?" John asked and Alexander nodded, nearly bursting into tears right then and there.

"Need a hug." Alexander simply stated and John pouted tiredly and walked over to his best friend and enveloped him in his arms.

"Come, let's get you to the guest room and get you to sleep. We can cuddle."

Alexander was more than happy for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’ALL R THE BEST


	8. Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander spills to Eliza and tells her everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i’m in pain how are you

When Alexander woke, he realized the bed he was in was far too soft. He slowly opened his eyes, still droopy from sleep, and he looked around. When he did, he realized he was in John and Peggy’s apartment. He hummed and he buried his head back into the pillow. As soon as he did, he heard a knock on the door and he whined really softly. 

“Come in.” He grumbled and sat up, rubbing his eyes. As soon as he did so, he saw Eliza walk into the door and he furrowed his eyebrows. “Liza? Where the hell did you come from?” He asked sleepily and moved over, patting the spot beside him so that she could come lay down. Eliza sat on the bed and gave Alexander a hug before kissing his cheek.

”Peggy made me come over.” Eliza laid down next to Alexander and got under the blankets. “She said you and Thomas got into a fight and you didn’t tell John what it was about, so she hoped you’d talk to me. I got into a fight with Maria two nights ago, so we can cry together.” She gave him a kind smile and Alexander shook his head and chuckled then laid down next to her. He moved so that she was spooning him, Eliza was the big spoon even when they were together, and he rubbed his eyes. 

“I’ve been lying to all of you.” Alexander said in a hushed voice and Eliza furrowed her eyebrows and ran her fingers through his messy mop of hair. Eliza didn’t even get to ask before Alexander continued to speak. “Thomas and I have been faking this whole relationship from the start.” He said, his voice cracking in the middle of the word ‘faking’. Eliza’s eyes widened, but she didn’t dare to say anything back yet. “He-he told James he had a boyfriend, and he didn’t. I was the only person he knew to ask to pretend to be his boyfriend, and I was getting free calculus homework out of it.” he sniffled and Eliza pouted and kept running her fingers through his hair. Alexander felt a lump in his throat as he continued to talk. “But Eliza, we started getting close. I told him everything, he knows about mom and about dad and.. and,” he started to sob through his words and he turned around to bury his face in her neck. “I fucking fell in love within this one month of this stupid fucking stunt, and I can’t fucking deal with this. I don’t know why I love him.” He started so sob through his words and Eliza felt her heart break. She clutched him close to her chest and shushed him against his hair. 

“Eliza, I want him. I want to do what we do in public behind closed doors. I want him and his stupid fucking opinions and stupid hair. Eliza  _I love him.”_

Eliza didn’t know what to say, she just clutched him closer as he poured his heart out about how much he loved Thomas.

”And the worst part,” he sniffled and looked at her. “He’s just using me. He’s just having fun with this to trick James and  _it fucking hurts._ I want him and he doesn’t want me, he loves James. It hurts to see the way he looks at him, because that’s how  _I look at Thomas.”_ Alexander clutched onto her. “He told me we could end this after the two months and we can go back to hating each other, but  _I don’t want that. I want this forever, I love him.”_

Eliza didn’t know what to say, or what to do. She just knew she would punch Thomas Jefferson the next time she saw him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love y’all


	9. Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas apologizes to Alexander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so tired lol

Thomas woke up with a groan, rubbing his eyes. He looked around, noticing Alexander wasn’t there and he sighed, turning onto his stomach and groaning into the pillow.  _He really fucked up, didn’t he?_

Hamilton - no - Alexander hadn’t spoken to him since what he said to him at the diner. He would give short replies, only acting nice around others, then he would go back into his shell when they were alone. It was beginning to annoy Thomas, but also worry him. He didn’t mean what he said, he was joking. He couldn’t think of a reason why Alexander would be so upset with him. He felt like it wouldn’t be any different.

He did establish a friendship with him, but Alexander had so many other friends. Why would he be upset with just losing one?

Thomas felt empty at the feeling of not waking up to Alexander shaking him awake and telling him he wanted to get coffee. He had created a really  _good_ friendship with him. 

He might’ve just messed that up.

Thomas shot out of bed at that thought, rushing to the bathroom.

He didn’t want to lose a good friendship when he literally had only two to begin with. 

He went into the bathroom to brush his teeth, mentally thanking whoever was up there in the sky that today was Saturday. He pulled his phone out and texted John Laurens, who’s number he had for emergencies.

**To John Laurens:**

Is Alex there? We fought last night and he stormed out. I wanna see him (and i’ll buy coffee for you and peggy)

He got a reply within minutes.

**From John Laurens:**

Yeah he’s here. Eliza is too btw, just buy coffee for Alex and donuts for us pls thanks Alex’s bf 

Thomas scoffed at the last part of the text. Him and John weren’t the best of friends, but they had to get along because he was “dating” John’s best friend. 

Thomas didn’t bother to put on his contacts, wearing his glasses instead. He put on a sweatshirt because he had on no shirt and just stayed in his gray sweats. Thomas pulled on his sneakers and grabbed his keys, heading out of the dorms. He went into the parking lot and got into his car, driving to the dunkin’ donuts that was closest. He ended up just getting a dozen donuts (because why not?) and he got a caramel coffee for Alexander. He decided not to get him black coffee because Alexander was in a better mood when he ate sweets.

Thomas drove to John and Peggy’s apartment, texting John saying he was outside. Within minutes, Eliza was at the door instead of John, giving Thomas a dirty look. 

“Hi-“

”You hurt him.”

”I know-“

”You don’t. Just-“ she took in a breath and tried to calm down. “Go fucking apologize because he’s been crying all morning and my hearts broken.” she turned around and stomped up the stairs of the apartment and Thomas stood there, speechless.

What was Alexander so upset about?

Thomas made his way upstairs with the coffee and donuts, setting them on the table after he greeted Peggy and John. John told him Alexander was in the guest room and he headed there and gently knocked on the door. 

“Alex? Can I come in?” 

Alexander opened the door, his hair was a mess and his eyes were red and his face was puffy. Thomas felt the need to grab him and kiss his head, but he didn’t do so. 

He liked James, not Alexander.

That’s what he kept telling himself.

”Honey-“

”Don’t.” Alexander looked upset and he put his hand on Thomas’ chest, going to push him. 

“Please? I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean it.” Thomas sighed and took his hand, leaving the door open as he led him into the bedroom. “I know, you’re scared of me leaving you alone because of your dad and.. It isn’t fair that this happened to you.. I didn’t mean what I said.” Thomas sighed and wrapped his arms around Alexander, who stiffeners in his arms. “I didn’t mean it.”

”Why’d you say it?” 

Thomas sighed and he shrugged. “I don’t know. Please believe me when I say, I value what we have. Okay?” Thomas chose his words carefully, knowing John, Eliza, and Peggy were probably listening.

Alexander looked up at him, his eyes lingering on his lips for a second before looking into his eyes. “Okay.” Thomas’ face flushed under his stare. 

Thomas leaned down and pressed a kiss to his head and then he took his hands. “Let’s go outside, I got coffee and donuts.”

Alexander’s face seemed to light up at that. 

Thomas intertwined their fingers as they walked out of the room, noticing that Alexander’s cheeks were dusted pink. He didn’t say anything. He brought him into the living room where everybody was and gave him his coffee and Alexander took a seat next to Eliza. Thomas was still standing at the table, but he was watching Alexander smile and laugh with his friends instead of getting himself a donut. Thomas felt a grin tugging at his lips as he watched Alexander interact with his friends and he had a soft and fond look in his eyes. He liked seeing Alexander like this, happy and not stressed.

He was staring so long that he didn't even notice John smiling in his direction.

In that moment, any lingering doubts John had about Thomas' feelings for Alexander faded into oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS THE FUCKING CLIMAX OF THE STORY IS COMING SOON PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR THIS SHIT.


	10. Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelica's birthday party has Alexander's gay drunk ass in emotional pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WAS SO EXCITED TO WRIYE THIS CHAPTEKWODGJAHJFG  
> also i planned out each chapter which is why the chpaters are coming so quickly, i havent gotten writers block. usually, i write an outline of each chapter and if i wanna add extras i do but for the most part i do that so i have an idea of what im gonna write.  
> also there’s a slignt makeout scene here if you’re uncomfortable you can skip

It was February 20th and Angelica was having a birthday party that she invited  _a fuck ton_ of people to. She was having it at her dad's mansion, so it would be enough space for everybody. The main squad was planning on crashing there for the night anyways. Alexander was getting ready for the party, trying to figure out how to do his hair.

He and Thomas decided to match, just because they thought it would be grossly adorable and it would get a reaction out of everybody. They were both wearing black jeans with gray sweaters and white sneakers. After almost a half hour, Alexander  _finally_ decided to let Thomas french braid his hair and they were off to the party. 

Since they talked that day a few weeks ago at John’s house, Alexander had been talking more to Thomas. He was more reserved, as everybody is after an argument, but he wasn’t angry anymore. 

As soon as they finished getting ready for the party, they were out the door. They were going to just meet everybody there as everyone had their own rides. Alexander and Thomas piled into Thomas car, friendly banter filling the air. They drove without speaking, the only sound filling the space between them was the music from the radio. It wasn’t awkward, however. Alexander had his hand in his lap and Thomas was holding it. 

Alexander didn’t find it awkward he just.. he found it  _odd._ Thomas was still in love with James, or so Alexander thought mostly. As far as he was concerned, Thomas still felt upset whenever he saw James and Dolley together. Alexander conjectured that Thomas was still hurting from this. He turned his head and looked at Thomas who had his eyes fixated on the road. Alexander’s eyes trailed from his brow bone down to the slope of his nose and all the way down to the curve of his lips. He quickly looked away when he saw Thomas biting his lip and his cheeks flushed red. Alexander squeezed Thomas’ hand gently, who squeezed back in response. 

“Everything alright over there?” Thomas questioned without taking his eyes off of the road. Alexander sighed.

”Parties aren’t my thing.” 

“Yeah, you fucking hobbit. Who would’ve guessed that?” Thomas joked and Alexander grinned and pinched his arm. 

They arrived at the Schuyler mansion within the next half hour. Thomas parked the car and Alexander got out as soon as he did. They had remembered to pack spare clothes since they were going to be sleeping there, so Thomas grabbed their bags and he walked ahead of Alexander. They went up to the door and Angelica opened it immediately. 

Alexander wrapped his arms around her excitedly and chuckled. “Happy birthday, Angie!” He rested his chin on her shoulder and she hugged him tightly. 

“Thank you, thank you! Thomas, hi!” She smiled and he gave her a hug and said “happy birthday, Angelica.”

It was about 8 pm at that point, and there was barely anybody there. Alexander took the bags and walked upstairs to put them in the room he and Thomas would be staying in. He knew where to go since he would spend time there before college. As soon as he got downstairs, Thomas was waiting for him with two cups in hand. 

“Care for a drink?” He grinned and Alexander gave him a smirk. 

“Drinking already?”

Thomas just glanced over to James and Dolley, who Alexander didn’t even notice until just now. Alexander let out a soft “oh.” and he took the cup from Thomas.

”I’ll only have one drink, I’ll have to take care of your drunk ass later anyways.” Alexander smiled and he took Thomas’ hand and led him over to the couches. 

Alexander sat in silence as Thomas started a conversation with James and he just looked at him. Alexander had his hand on Thomas’ leg as he just admired the way his “boyfriend” looked tonight. He decided that gray was his favorite color to see on him, besides red and purple. The contrast between Thomas’ dark skin and the light color of gray was pretty to Alexander. “Thomas, babe,” Alexander mumbled and rested his chin on his shoulder. He found himself wanting a kiss, even if it didn’t mean anything. It meant something to him, and that’s all that mattered. He wanted to express the fact that he thought Thomas looked good. He just wanted him to feel appreciated at the moment. 

“Kiss?” Alexander pouted and Thomas gave him a soft smile, leaning over and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips, almost like he didn’t want to pull back. Alexander’s cheeks were on fire now from the feeling of Thomas’ lips on his and he looked away as soon as Thomas pulled back. James laughed, his usual serious demeanor melting away because of the alcohol he had consumed. 

“Alexander, you’re like a school girl. You’ve been dating for two months, why are you still so shy?” He joked and Alexander shrugged. He looked at Thomas, then answered honestly. 

“He still makes me swoon after two months, isn’t that how it should be?” He shrugged and Thomas pressed a wet kiss to his cheek. 

———

It was about an hour and a half into the party and a lot of people showed up. Thomas had way too many cups of hennessy and he was giggling and draping himself over Alexander like a baby sloth. Alexander had about a cup and a half of whatever Thomas gave him before deciding to not drink anymore as he promised to take care of Thomas later on that night because he knew he’d be a drunk mess. 

“Alex..” Thomas whined and he wrapped his arms around his shoulders from behind. Alexander giggled, his tipsy state was making him loosen up. “Dance?” Thomas asked and he buried his face in Alexander’s neck. Alexander froze up and he felt butterflies in his stomach. Thomas’ drunken actions caused goosebumps to rise on the back of his neck.

”S-sure Thoma- woah!” 

Before Alexander could even finish his sentence, Thomas grabbed his hand and tugged him onto the dance floor. Thomas’ hands flew to Alexander’s hips, pulling him flush against his own and Alexander felt like he was  _losing his fucking mind._ Thomas rested his forehead against Alexander’s as they danced together and Alexander moved his hands up to rest on the back of his neck. He stared into Thomas’ eyes and focused on how the strobe lights moved back and forth on his face. He noticed that his eyes were lidded slightly, probably from the alcohol. Thomas’ face was so close to his that Alexander could  _smell_ the alcohol in his breath. Thomas’ hips moved in time with the music, slightly pressing against Alexander’s own and  _oh my god Alexander wanted to fucking scream._ He was barely drunk at all, so he was feeling everything and all of this was making him lose his fucking mind. The man that he was in love with was literally  _grinding on him right now._ How the fuck do you react to that? Well, Thomas knew.

It was in the middle of one of the songs when Alexander was looking into Thomas’ eyes. Thomas leaned down and he captured Alexander’s lips in a feverish kiss and Alexander gasped in surprise. Thomas pulled his hips even closer and Alexander rested his hands on the back of his neck. Thomas smirked against his lips and he moved his hand down a little bit, causing Alexander to blush furiously. Thomas’ hips were still moving along with the music and Alexander’s lips were moving fast against Thomas’. Alexander felt Thomas holding his hips tighter and pulling him closer and _holy fuck, he would let him do anything at this point._ Alexander tilted his head a bit and he licked at Thomas’ lip, and to his surprise Thomas opened up his mouth and allowed Alexander to lick into his mouth. Alexander felt his face heating up and he moved his hands into Thomas’ hair, tugging. He heard a soft moan erupt from Thomas’ throat and Alexander felt satisfied that he had made him make that noise. There were wolf whistles and people yelling around, Alexander could vaguely register them as John and Angelica's voices, but all he could focus on were the butterflies going wild in his stomach because  _holy shit he was making out with Thomas Jefferson._ Alexander was about to start kissing him harder, until Thomas breathed something soft against his lips.

” _James..”_

Alexander tugged away as soon as Thomas said that, his heart feeling like it was in a million different pieces on the ground and he felt like someone stepped on it a few times too. Alexander stuttered our an excuse before rushing upstairs and into the room he and Thomas were staying in. Alexander felt a pain in his chest and he felt sick to his stomach as he sat on the ground and buried his face in his hands. He made a huge mistake by saying yes to this, he made a huge mistake by thinking he wouldn’t fall in love, he made a huge fucking mistake by letting Thomas kiss him and hold him.

Alexander didn’t fall easy, but when he did fall he fell hard. 

And holy fucking shit, did he hit the ground and crack his bones. 

He felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest at the moment, he didn’t know what to do. He knew Thomas didn’t love him. He knew he wasn’t the one in Thomas’ heart. So why was he so hurt? Why was this killing him? 

_Alexander was so in love with him._

He felt a sob shake through his body and he laid down on the ground and stared at the ceiling.

”Why won’t you love me?” he whimpered and covered his face. “I didn’t mean to fall in love, fuck.” he said to himself and he continued to cry.

———

It was about 2 in the morning when Thomas stumbled into the bedroom. Alexander was already changed into his pajamas, teeth brushed and everything. He was laying down and reading a book he brought along. As soon as he looked at Thomas, his heart broke. Thomas had a few stray tears on his cheeks and his eyes were red.

In that moment, Alexander didn’t care about how he felt. He needed to tend to Thomas. 

He got up and walked over to him, cupping his cheeks. “Thomas, sweetheart?” He whispered, being extremely gentle and he talked soft to hide his sadness. “What’s wrong?” Alexander questioned. He ran his thumb over the skin of Thomas’ cheek and Thomas put his hand over Alexander’s.

”James. You. Dolley.” he slurred simply and Alexander sighed and took his hand, leading him to the bathroom. 

“Come on, honey. Let’s get you changed and then we can talk. Take your contacts off.” Alexander instructed and Thomas nodded and he did so, Alexander putting them in the case one by one. He helped Thomas put it his shirt, not even caring at this point. Alexander hated seeing Thomas like this. He didn’t care anymore that Thomas hurt him. He needed him to be okay right now. He helped Thomas into a comfortable shirt and helped him step out of his jeans and into some comfy pajama pants. Alexander handed him his toothbrush and Thomas slowly and clumsily brushed his teeth. He handed Thomas his glasses and Thomas put them on and stumbled back to the bed with Alexander.

Alexander laid down, facing Thomas. Thomas looked fucked up, to say the least. He looked drunk and sad and Alexander just wanted to grab him and kiss him. 

“James loves Dolley.”

Alexander sighed and nodded at him.

”Yeah, Thomas. He does.” 

“I hurt your feelings.” Thomas mumbled and he moved closer, pulling Alexander so that he could rest his head on his chest. “Didn’t mean to.” Alexander noticed that Thomas’ sophisticated language didn’t exist when he was drunk. 

Alexander was about to make a risky decision. He knew Thomas wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning, but he didn’t know if he should do this. 

He decided, fuck it. He’s gonna do it. 

“I love you, Thomas.” Alexander whispered into Thomas’ hair. “I love you, and everything about you. I want you to be mine, to hold and keep and kiss. I want all of your baggage and your stupid political points of view and I want your stupid beautiful laugh and I want your stupid expensive hair products all over my bathroom counter.  _I want you._ I’ve never loved anyone like this. I-“

Alexander was halfway through his rant when he heard snoring.

”Well, fuck.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ignore the second end note lololol


	11. Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas notices that Alexander is being distant and he asks him about it.  
> [this chapter is written in flashbacks]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaa angst angst angst

**Five** **days** **before.**

Thomas woke up to Alexander’s head against his chest and his leg shoved between Thomas’ thighs. Alexander had his arms draped over Thomas and soft snores escaped his lips. Thomas’ bleary eyes adjusted to the light and he groaned under his breath, a sharp pain filling his head. He rubbed his eyes harshly before looking down. As soon as he did so, his eyes softened and he let out a soft “awe” at Alexander’s sleeping figure clinging to him like a baby. Thomas ran his fingers through Alexander’s hair and he laid his head back on the pillow. Thomas must’ve pulled a bit on his hair, because Alexander stirred and woke up. Alexander’s sticky eyelashes separated as his eyes opened and he blinked a few times, probably waiting for his brain to catch up with his eyes. 

“Oh. Hi.” He spoke in a raspy voice and Thomas gave him a sappy smile.

”Hi there.”

Alexander pulled himself away, only muttering “I’ll get you a banana and some advil because you probably have a shitty hangover. I’m gonna help clean up, then we can go.” He said nothing else to him after he did what he said. 

He didn’t talk to Thomas at all that day, only really nodding or humming or giving one word replies.

_What the hell happened at the party?_

**Four days before.**

A whole day went by and Alexander didn’t argue with him, didn’t look at him, didn’t even make any comments about his stupid purple cashmere sweater. 

Thomas noticed that Alexander had his face shoved against his laptop screen for a majority of the day, avoiding any form of contact he could possibly have with Thomas.

The thing was, Thomas knew he was being ignored. He just didn’t know why. Thomas got extremely fucked up at that party, and he knew he did because he remembered nothing. He didn’t  _think_ he could do anything to hurt Alexander while he was drunk. Maybe Alexander was just going through something and he didn’t want to tell him. Alexander had these mood swings a lot. He’d go days without speaking to any of his friends just because his depression was off the wall and then he’d go back to normal. Maybe that’s what was happening.

Thomas didn’t want to ask yet.

**Three days before.**

Alexander didn’t say yes to coffee. 

He said no.

To coffee. 

The caffeine hoarder said no to a cup of coffee and Thomas  _really_ knew something was wrong. Thomas was beginning to worry. Alexander wasn’t himself and he’d been sleeping no more than 2 hours every night. He’d fall asleep at the desk and when Thomas went to carry him to bed, he would wake up and tell Thomas to fuck off and then just go back to work.

Thomas wasn’t going to lie, his feelings were hurt. He didn’t know what he did, and frankly this is the first time in a long time that Alexander was so upset with him. Or upset in general. Thomas noticed that he’d been a lot less stressed lately, he’d been laughing more. He had been sleeping more often, the bags under his eyes were beginning to fade and he began to eat more, meaning he gained weight and he was no longer skin and bones.

It had only been a few days, but Alexander was falling back into old habits and Thomas hated it.

He felt the need to drag him to bed and cuddle him until he fell asleep, but Alexander wouldn’t even look at him.

**Two days before.**

Alexander left the dorm the night before and he didn’t come back. Thomas felt his heart break, he didn’t know why. He felt weird not having somebody to argue with. He felt weird not having somebody beg him to get up and entertain them. He felt weird not having somebody by his side 24/7. 

He missed Alexander and there was no denying that. 

Within the few hours that Alexander was gone, Thomas had time to think. He had time to think about Alexander’s teeth that were perfectly imperfect when he smiled, all of them shined beautifully in the light. He had time to think about Alexander’s height and how cute it was when he would pout because he couldn’t reach anything. He had time to think about how he went on tangents, minute after minute of babbling about something he was passionate about and Thomas  _loved it._ He had time to think about the fact that since they started this whole thing, Alexander has been the only thing on his mind. He consumed his waking thought, almost everything was about him.

Would Alexander want coffee when he woke up? Did he even sleep? Did he do this, did he do that.

Thomas found himself so interested, he found himself just wanting to be around him and hear his voice. He longed for the feeling of Alexander’s fingers between him- wait. When did he even start calling him Alexander?

Oh yeah, that’s right. Thomas had grown fond of him throughout the short time they’ve been “together.” 

However, all of these thoughts made him realize  _it might be more than just him being fond of him._

James was barely on his mind, now everything was about Alexander.

**One day before.**

Alexander still hadn’t come back. Thomas assumed he would return soon, or so he hoped. He was fixing up the dorm room, making things look presentable. 

Since when did he care what Alexander thought?

He was hoping he would come home that night, so he got a bag of reeses pieces and put them on Alexander’s bed with a teddy bear.

He didn’t know what he was doing, but he knew he was trying to impress. 

Thomas wanted nothing but to see Alexander right now.

He looked at the clock, it read 2:00 pm. Maybe he’d be here soon.

3:00 pm. Nothing.

7:00 pm. Nothing. 

10:00 pm. nothing.

He wasn’t coming back tonight. Thomas felt his heart ache and that’s when he realized:

_It’s much more than just fondness._

**Present day.**

 Thomas felt empty when he realized that Alexander wasn’t going to come back home. That “when” turned into an “if” quickly. 

Thomas had been avoiding speaking to anybody all day long, he really didn’t want to hear anybody’s voice besides Alexander’s. He noticed that Alexander skipped their PoliSci lecture with Washington and Thomas just sighed. He missed Alexander, but there’s nothing he could do. He didn’t even know what he fucking did, he didn’t know how to fucking fix this.

He just wanted Alexander with him right now.

Thomas ignored James, ignored Lafayette and Hercules. He didn’t want to hear anybody right now, didn’t want to deal with anybody. He wanted to figure out what was wrong and why Alexander was being so distant. Fuck, it felt like they were as close as strangers. It was like a week ago, they were best friends. Now Alexander couldn’t even look at him and Thomas  _didn’t even know why._

When his last lecture finished, he rushed back to his dorm room to avoid anybody. He unlocked his door quickly and went inside, shutting the door and he took his shoes off. As he walked inside, he heard rustling from the room. 

“Hello?” Thomas’ eyebrows furrowed and he poked his head in, seeing a messy bun and a gray sweater. 

_Hes back._

Thomas’ smile grew, only to fade as soon as Alexander turned around and Thomas saw the bags under his eyes.

Thomas slowly approached him. “Alex?” he whispers softly and Alexander crossed his arms and looked up at him. Thomas went to go tuck a piece of hair behind his ear and Alexander pulled away and looked down. Thomas was beginning to grow frustrated with how Alexander was ignoring him, he felt a png of irritation in his stomach.

”Alexander, I don’t know what’s wrong but you need to stop treating it like a god damn child and  _talk to me._ ” 

Alexander shook his head and Thomas caught the slight glimpse of tears in his eyes. His heart cracked and he went to hug him, Alexander pulled away again.

”Stop it, please. You’re making this harder on me.” Alexander choked out and Thomas furrowed his eyebrows. 

He looked down at him and sighed. “Alex, what’s wrong?” 

Alexander stared up at him in his eyes, he looked pained and he looked as if he would break down any second now. “You.” he murmured and Thomas stared at him with his mouth open, unable to say anything. “The party.” Alexander continued. “Feelings..”

Thomas looked at him funny. Feelings? The last time he checked, Alexander had feelings for absolutely nobody. “Alexander, stop being vague and tell me what’s going on.” Thomas grumbled and Alexander finally broke.

”I love you, asshole!” he yelled, hot tears spilling from his eyes as he looked up at Thomas. “I literally broke rule number one, I fell in love with you and I didn’t fucking want to. He sobbed, hugging himself. “You love James and I know you’ll never love me and it  _hurts._ All of this pretending bullshit hurts so badly because I have to kiss you and know that you feel nothing and I feel fucking everything.” Alexander whispered and he dug his nails into his arms. Thomas went to talk again, but he felt no sound erupt from his throat when he did so. “I-I love you and I don’t want to.” he whispered and he sat on the bed. “We kissed at the party, you know?” Alexander looked up at him. Thomas’ eyes widened. He knew that they would kiss, but what happened after? Alexander looked so heartbroken that Thomas knew it was bad. “It wasn’t a peck, it wasn’t a small kiss. You were full on making out with me and you whispered  _James._ ” Alexander started to cry so hard that he was choking on his tears and Thomas went to hold him but Alexander shoved him again. “Do you know,” he coughed, “how shitty it feels to feel as if you’re being used?” Alexander asked and Thomas’ face softened. 

“Alex...”

”No!” He snapped. “You don’t! I feel fucking used because I feel like you used this bullshit to get over James.” Alexander admitted and he looked up at Thomas. “I fell in love with you little by little and I’m sorry.” He whispered and he looked away, tears still falling.

”I should go.”

Before Thomas could protest, Alexander was out the door and Thomas went to run after him a few minutes later, but he was gone.  _fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so tired i love y’all tho


	12. Alexander/Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas needs to find Alexander, now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOO PREPARE FOR THE PAIN AND FLUFF AND KISSING. a lot of kissing.

**Alexander**

Alexander ran out of that dorm as fast as he could, running as fast as his stubby legs could take him. He ran all the way until he got to the diner he and Thomas were at that night.

“ _You don’t seem scared around me.” Alexander stated simply and moved closer to rest his elbows on the table and put his chin in his hands._

_Thomas shrugged and gave him a kind smile. “I don’t have to be.”_

_Alexander looked at him funny._

_”Oh yeah, why’s that?”_

_He had a flirty tone playing on his voice and he knew Thomas could hear it._

_“Because we’re just pretending, we aren’t dating. Once this is over, we can hate each other again.” Thomas stated simply and Alexander felt his heart drop._

Alexander hiccuped on his tears as he got a booth at the diner, ignoring the questioning looks he got from waiters and waitresses as he ordered a cup of black coffee.

He didn’t want to go back.

He didn’t know what to do.

Why was this so hard? Why did he have to fall in love with Thomas of all people? Fuck, he hated this so much. He really, really hated this.

Alexander sipped on his coffee and he wiped his tears, tapping his fingers in front of him on the table as he attempted to distract himself. He swung his feet a bit and rubbed his eyes, in hopes that they would stop burning. Alexander was still hiccuping, but the tears stopped. Thomas didn’t love him and Alexander needed to accept that. 

**Thomas**

Where was he? Where the fuck was Alexander? Holy shit, is he okay?

Thomas panicked as he got into his car, driving around in hopes of finding Alexander somewhere. He hoped that he was somewhere where they usually went on “dates”. 

Thomas passed the park that they took walks in sometimes when Alexander was so stressed that you could see it on his face. 

_“Thomas, no!” Alexander whined as Thomas lifted him onto his back and started to run around the playground. Thomas giggles and shook his head._

_Alexander whined and rested his chin on top of Thomas’ head as he ran to the top of it. Alexander smiled at how high up he was, he was so short so he usually never got to see things. Thomas’ back made him seem taller, he felt great about that. He looked up at the sky and smiled._

_”It’s pretty.”_

_’You’re pretty.’ Thomas thought._

_He should’ve said it._

He looked around the park and noticed Alexander wasn’t there, so he got back into the car. He drove to Alexander’s favorite ice cream place. He sighed as he looked through the window to be disappointed that he wasn’t there either. 

_“Do you ever eat anything that isn’t coffee flavored?” Thomas rolled his eyes at Alexander, keeping a small smile on his face. Alexander gave Thomas a look, raising his eyebrow._

_”Do you ever wear anything other than purple?”_

_”Touché.”_

_Alexander and Thomas took a seat in the ice cream place and Alexander kept stealing bites of Thomas’ chocolate ice cream, Thomas acted annoyed but he didn’t care. Alexander giggled and he dipped his finger in and wiped it on Thomas’ nose, earning a glare._

_Alexander was giggling so much that Thomas couldn’t find it in him to glare and tell Alexander to fuck off. His face softened at the sight of Alexander shutting his eyes as he laughed, all of his teeth flashing._

_Holy shit, he was in deep._

_They were just friends at this point, but Thomas felt like it was developing into something more._

That was before the party. It was right after he hurt Alexander by saying “we’re just pretending.” God, he wished he didn’t say that. 

Maybe Alexander wouldn’t be so hurt.

Thomas groaned as he parked and he hit his head against the car seat.  _Where could he be?_ Thomas thought and thought, and he couldn’t come up with somewhere Alexander could be. He shouldn’t have even went to that party, if he didn’t go nothing would’ve happened. He would’ve been okay. He and Alexander would be okay. 

None of this would’ve happened.

Thomas ultimately decided he would give up, he didn’t know where in god’s green earth Alexander could be. So, Thomas started the car and he started to drive to his favorite diner. He needed some coffee, and maybe a waffle. As he pulled into the driveway, his shoulders slumped in disappointment. He just wanted to see Alexander and kiss the fuck out of him to tell him he was sorry and that  _he loves him too._

Over the past month, everything they did was reeling Thomas in more and he fell so deep in with Alexander and he didn’t even notice. He thought he still loved James, but now that he thought about it, he didn’t. 

He loved Alexander. 

As soon as he stepped into the diner, he looked around.

Thomas’ eyes widened as he caught a glimpse of a messy bun and a cup of coffee. He saw a familiar green phone case and he gulped. Without saying anything, Thomas walked towards the booth and slid into the seat across from the man with a messy bun. Thomas’ knees bumped into his because of how long his legs were, making the man look up. 

Alexander’s jaw dropped and he locked his phone, just staring at Thomas. 

Within a few minutes, his look of shock turned into one of anger, pain. 

“What do you want?” Alexander spat and Thomas sighed and rested his head in his hands. 

“I fucked up.”

A bitter laugh erupted from Alexander. 

“Like I didn’t know.” He sighed and rested his cheek in his palm, looking at Thomas. “I’m sorry.” Alexander stated and Thomas looked at him funny.

”For?”

”Storming out. Yelling. You didn’t know I loved you, it’s not your fault.” Alexander whispered and took a long sip of his coffee. “We should’ve never done this. I should leave you to get over James, we can end this here and just tell everyone we broke up.” Alexander sniffled and he looked at the ground. 

“ _After all, we were just pretending.”_

Thomas’ heart cracked at that and he felt tears rush to his eyes. 

“Alex, please-“ 

Alexander shook his head.

It was then that Thomas realized they were sitting in the same spot they did when Thomas said those exact words to Alexander. Thomas let the tears spill, not even caring that they were in public. 

“Fuck you, Alexander.” Thomas murmured and Alexander grimaced at him. “Fuck you, I’m so in love with you, I fucking hate you.”

Alexander didn’t say anything back. He stared at him in shock. 

Thomas gritted his teeth and he squeezed his hands into fists so hard that his knuckles turned white.

”That’s an extremely contradicting statement.” 

That was the only thing Alexander said before leaning over the table and grabbing Thomas’ face to smash his lips onto Thomas’ own. 

“We need to talk. Let’s go.” Thomas muttered as they pulled back, ignoring the butterflies he got from the kiss because  _this kiss was real._

Alexander nodded in agreement as they walked towards the cashier and Alexander paid for his coffee. 

They walked in silence to the car, Alexander behind Thomas. An awkward silence filled the air between them, all that was heard was breathing and the occasional sniffle from the both of them. 

Thomas reached over and rested his hand on the inside of Alexander’s thigh and Alexander just put his hand on top of Thomas’ wordlessly.

They drove back to the dorm buildings and walked to their room in silence. As soon as they stepped inside and took off their shoes, Thomas crowded Alexander against the door, practically pinning him with both of his arms at the sides of his head. Thomas leaned down and he brushed his nose against Alexander’s. He could practically hear Alexander’s heart rate speeding up as he took in a breath. 

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Thomas breathes out against his lips. Alexander shrugged in response and looked up at him.

”Didn’t wanna make anything awkward.” he replied and Thomas sighed and took one hand off of the door and put it on the small of Alexander’s back. 

Thomas pulled Alexander close to his body, earning a gasp. “You’re blind.” Thomas chuckled and kissed the side of his mouth. “You should’ve told me beforehand, it would’ve made things less confusing for me. I would’ve realized that I didn’t love James, because I love you. I was so hung up on him that I didn’t notice I was falling in love. Neither did you, blind bat.” Thomas teased and Alexander grinned, reaching up to wrap his arms around his neck. 

“Says the one wearing glasses.” He countered and Thomas rolled his eyes. 

“You love it.”

Alexander leaned in close and breathed out against his lips.

”You’re right, I do.” 

With that, Thomas closed the gap between their mouths with a kiss and he held Alexander’s body flush against his own. He smiled into the kiss, teeth hitting Alexander’s and Alexander laughed against his lips. Thomas pressed him into the wall, kissing him deeper and more passionately. 

He slowly moved his lips against Alexander’s own, sliding his hands down to the back of his thighs and he mumbled “jump.” and Alexander complied. Thomas let Alexander wrap his legs around his waist and he pressed him against the wall, kissing him hard. He bit at Alexander’s lip, earning a soft moan and he took the opportunity to lick into his mouth. Alexander pulled back and he looked into Thomas’ eyes, pure love filling his expression. Thomas leaned back in for a chaste kiss and then he kissed his cheek, then his jaw, down to his neck. He pressed a few soft kisses there, but within minutes the kisses turned hard and he started gently nibbling on the skin there. He listened to Alexander’s breaths, they were turning shaky as Thomas bit on the base of his neck and began to suck a mark into it, teeth nipping and tongue sliding against it. This elicited a high pitched whine from Alexander and Thomas felt satisfied with that. Thomas pulled back, looking at Alexander in his eyes and Alexander smiled at him, panting. He cupped his cheeks and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. Thomas our Alexander down and he put his hands on his hips, pulling him close.

”Holy  _shit,_ Alexander.  _I love you.”_

Thomas leaned down and kiss his lips sweetly and softly and Alexander smiled.

Thomas wasn’t pretending this time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a migraine lol


	13. Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander woke up in Thomas’ arms and it’s the best feeling he’s ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m gonna add a few epilogue chapters as per request ! so yeah prepare for domestic fluff

Alexander woke up in Thomas’ arms, and it’s the best feeling he’s ever had. He lifted his head off of Thomas’ bare chest and a sleepy smile spread across his face. His eyes were soft as he looked up at Thomas, pure love filling his expression.

Love. Love was something that Alexander never understood the full capacity of. He didn’t know if he loved his mom, he didn’t know if he loved his dad. He was too young to understand. He was in and out of foster homes, he never really got to love his foster families either. When he was with his friends and they made him happy, that was love. When he watched how I met your mother for the hundredth time, he assumed that was love? He watched people fall in love in movies and on TV shows, but he  _never knew what it felt like to feel love completely._ Yes, he told his friends he loved them, because he did. But it was never something he understood fully. He felt it, but never to its full extent. He never loved so hard, not until now.

With Thomas,  _oh god._ He didn’t know what came over him. It was like he was hit by a million love arrows at once because holy shit did he feel it. He felt it in every part of his body, his chest, his stomach, shit even in his head. He felt love in every corner of his heart now. It was such a  _good feeling_ that Alexander was feeling. As he stared up at Thomas, he knew that he loved him, and he loved him bad. He knew that his head and his heart were in too deep at this point, he wasn’t going to let go. He wouldn’t hurt Thomas, and he knew Thomas wouldn’t hurt him. 

Alexander had his chin resting on Thomas’ chest, tracing shapes gently. About 20 minutes later when Thomas began to stir and wake up, blinking a bit as he looked at Alexander. When his brain finally caught up with his eyes, he gave him a closed mouth smile. 

“Hey, darlin’.” Thomas tilted his head and he ran his hand through Alexander’s hair, earning a noise that sounded sort of like a purr.

Alsxander closed his eyes and leaned up to kiss his jaw. “Hey, Thomas.” he smiled and he climbed on top of him, making himself comfortable on top of his body. He curled up, most of his body on Thomas’ stomach and chest as he laid on his stomach. He rubbed his head against Thomas, who just sighed happily and rubbed his sides. 

“I love you.” he mumbled and Alexander looked up and smiled.

”I love you too.” Alexander leaned up for a kiss, Thomas complying. Alexander pulled back after a second and sat up on his stomach to stretch. His shirt lifted up, exposing his stomach and Thomas poked his belly button, earning a squeal.

”Let’s go brush.”

”Can we make out after?” Alexander questioned and Thomas rolled his eyes and murmured “Is that all you think about?” as he got off of the bed and Alexander slapped his shoulder and then followed him into the bathroom.

”Yes.” Thomas mumbled after a minute and Alexander punched the air, whispering “yes!” 

Alexander stood next to Thomas as he brushed his teeth, Thomas stared in the mirror at Alexander as they both did so. Alexander blushes under his stare and looked at him through the mirror, spitting in the sink.

”Stop looking at me like that.” he whined and continued to brush and Thomas just pinched his butt, earning a shriek. 

When they finished brushing their teeth, Alexander sat on the sink and Thomas stood between his legs, leaning his forehead against Alexander’s. He tilted Alexander’s chin up and he stroked his hair back. 

“I’m so in love with you.” Alexander said honestly as he looked into Thomas’ eyes. Thomas leaned in to press a slow kiss to his mouth and he pulled back just enough to mumble 

“I’m even more in love with you.”

Alexander pulled back fully and raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh yeah?”

”Yeah.” Thomas gave him a smug smile and pulled him to the edge of the counter. 

“Prove it.”

With that, Thomas had Alexander off of the counter and back on the bed within a minute. Thomas was hovering over him while kissing him deeply, Alexander just going with it and kissing him back the same way. Thomas was pressing slow, but hard kisses down his neck and Alexander was whining so much that they didn’t hear the door unlock.

Alexander would now decide that he’s taking away Lafayette’s key. 

“Good morning, children!” Alexander heard Hercules yell and then he heard him scream when he saw Thomas between Alexander’s legs, kissing his neck. 

“I need bleach!” Hercules covered his eyes and Thomas groaned and rolled off of him to sit up. 

“Thanks guys.” Alexander rolled his eyes and Lafayette stepped closer to Alexander and tilted his head up, poking the hickey on his neck, causing Alexander to suck in a breath. Lafayette gave him a look and then looked at Thomas, raising an eyebrow.

”We’re talking later.” 

“Laf-“ Alexander protested but Lafayette gave him another look. It wasn’t an angry look, just a “you actually like him and you didn’t tell me?” look.

He forgot Lafayette and Eliza knew about the whole “fake dating” situation. 

Alexander sighed and he looked at Hercules. “Why are you guys visiting us at,” he checked the time, “8 in the morning?” 

“We brought breakfast.” Hercules grinned and Alexander smiled. 

“Coffee?” 

Lafayette nodded and sat next to Alexander on the bed, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him close. This earned him a playful glare from Thomas and Lafayette stuck his tongue out. “He is my son.” 

It wasn’t long after that the Schuylers and John joined them for breakfast in Thomas and Alexander’s dorm room, it was later explained that John noticed he’s been sad and he wanted to surprise Alexander

Alexander glanced at his friends and his boyfriend with a fond smile, his chest was full. He’s never been so happy about a group of people, and one boy.

He was happy that he wasn’t faking it anymore, happy that Thomas was his real boyfriend now. He leaned over and whispered in Thomas’ ear,

”I love you, for real now.” 

Thomas just smiled and leaned in to kiss him.

”I love you more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS PER REQUEST I AM WRITING A FEW EPILOGUE CHAPTERS SO THIS ISNT COMPLETELY OVER BUT THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE STORY AND I REALLY HOPE Y’all liKED IT A LOT BECAUSE I LOVED WRITING IT.


	14. Epilogue part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 years later. Thomas and Alexander finally move out of the dorms because they all graduated. The squad decides to spend the first three weeks of summer break at Monticello.  
> Also, Thomas has a surprise.  
> There’s hinting at the sexytimes but there’s no sexytimes sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF

“Thomas, honey, wake up.” Alexander groaned as he continuously shook his boyfriend. Alexander had a  _massive_ headache. Last night after graduation, the squad had their own little party at Lafayette and Hercules’ house. Yes, Lafayette and Hercules moves in together right before they got married. 

Alexander was the “flower man.” 

Thomas thought it was hilarious.

They had a small wedding, only friends and their parents really. Their extended families weren’t too keen on the idea of them getting married, but their parents supported it so they came. 

Their house was a very cute and cozy house and Alexander  _loved it._ He and Thomas actually found an apartment down the block that they’d be moving in to together when they came back from their little vacation. 

Alexander sat on top of Thomas’ stomach and he poked his nose and then leaned down to lick his cheek. When Thomas didn’t even stir, Alexander tried one last attempt at waking his boyfriend. 

Alexander leaned down and he bit at Thomas’ pulse point and Thomas was awake almost instantly. Thomas groaned and shoved Alexander, who hit the ground with a loud thud. Thomas rubbed his eyes and murmured “pass me my glasses.” and Alexander slapped his chest then gave him the glasses.

”Because of you, I may have broken my elbow.” He said sarcastically and Thomas grinned at him, despite his groggy state. 

“You know what, I’m just going to say it-“

”Thomas, no.” Alexander face palmed, knowing what was coming next.

”I DON’T CARE THAT YOU BROKE YOUR ELBOW!” Thomas erupted into a fit of giggles and he rolled off of the bed and he laid on the ground next to Alexander. 

“Hey there, boyfriend.” 

Alexander put his hand over Thomas’ face. “Go brush your teeth, ugly.”

Thomas pouted and he put his head in Alexander’s lap. “I’m ugly?” He pouted even more and Alexander smiled and leaned down to kiss his head.

”No, sweetheart, you’re beautiful. Now go.” He kissed his nose and Thomas got up and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He felt hungover as hell, but he and Alexander wanted to be the first ones at Monticello for..

Well, you could probably already guess why.

Monticello had soundproof walls.

———

Within twenty minutes, Alexander and Thomas had their bags into Thomas’ car and they were on their way to Monticello. Thomas had his hand rested on Alexander’s inner thigh, rubbing it with his thumb and Alexander had fallen asleep halfway through the ride. Thomas was humming under his breath. Thomas was quite nervous because of what he was planning on doing. All of their friends knew, they were all going to be recording what was happening. Alexander had no idea, but he was about to be the happiest man on the planet. 

Thomas glanced at Alexander then looked at the road again. He smiled, feeling content with how his life was going.

———

As soon as they got to Monticello, they didn’t even bother to take their stuff to their room and Thomas had Alexander against the wall the second they walked in. Thomas was pressing harsh kisses down his neck and Alexander was whining and giving into it completely, he gave himself over to Thomas. Thomas picked him up and carried him up to the bedroom and Alexander knew exactly where they were because he spent a month during the summer before here with Thomas. Alexander giggled as Thomas set him down on the bed and Thomas leaned down to kiss him slow.

”I love you.”

———

“Come sit with me.” Alexander whispered, sitting on the couch and making grabby hands at Thomas. Thomas shook his head and he leaned down to press a slow and lingering kiss to Alexander’s lips. 

Alexander pouted and tried to grab him to cuddle but Thomas pulled back. “I have to go set up for dinner outside, sweetheart. Everybody should be here soon.” He mumbled and Alexander sighed  and nodded, looking disappointed but then he peeked up again.

”Can we snuggle later, then?” He asked and Thomas smiled at how cuddly he was being.

”Yes, my love.” Thomas kissed him again and Alexander laid down and grabbed his book from the table. Thomas just looked at him from afar, a sweet and fond look in his eyes. God, he was so in love. He felt his chest swell at just the sight of Alexander looking so content and stress free. It made him so happy. 

Thomas turned his attention back to the food on the stove, keeping one hand in his pocket as he scrolled through his phone and let the pasta boil. He fiddled with the box in his pocket, hoping that everything went as planned.

———

Alexander had dozed off on the couch with the book on top of his chest. Thomas heard knocking at the door and he went to open it, his friends piling in, and Peggy was yelling, as always. Thomas shushed her, but by the time she realized why, Alexander was already awake and clinging onto John’s body like a baby koala. James chuckled and shook his head, hugging his best friend and Dolley gave Thomas a friendly kiss on the cheek. After all of the greeting (and Alexander making Hercules carry him up the stairs on his back so he could brush his teeth), they headed out into the garden. Lafayette and Thomas were stood in the kitchen telling everybody that they were going to bring the food out.

”Here is the coffee. Do you have the ring?” Lafayette questioned with a big smile and Thomas took in a nervous breath and nodded. Thomas bit his lip.

He couldn’t believe he was about to propose to Alexander. 

Lafayette must’ve noticed the nervousness in Thomas’ face because he put his hands on his shoulders and made him look him in the face. “You are going to be just fine, mon ami. You know he will not say no, petit lion loves you more than anything in the world.” Lafayette reassured and Thomas gave him a warm smile and pulled Lafayette into a big hug. 

“Come on, let us do this.” 

———

Thomas walked out behind Lafayette with the food and the coffee on the tray as well. He put all of the food on the table and then took the coffee in his hand and passed it to Alexander who looked at him with a weird look but a smile. 

“What’s this?” He asked and Thomas shrugged nervously.

”Just accept the coffee, I have to ask you something.” Thomas smiled at him, restating the words he had asked him two years ago in January. Alexander turned towards him and took the coffee, everybody took their phones out and started recording on the low, knowing what was about to happen. 

“Well, what do you need to ask me?” Alexander questioned carefully as he sipped the coffee slowly and Thomas looked at him dead in the eyes. 

He got down on one knee and pulled the ring box out of his pocket and opened it. Alexander nearly dropped his coffee as he stared at Thomas with wide eyes.

”I need you to like, not pretend to be my husband? Like, be my real husband? Not pretend?” Thomas questioned nervously and giggled at him. “I wanted to make this just like when I asked you to be my fake boyfriend but you can’t be my fake husband if I actually want to marry you so..” Thomas trailed off and Alexander just stared at him with wide eyes and his jaw dropped open.

Thomas was beginning to get nervous and he was starting to sweat because Alexander was staring at him and not saying anything. 

Alexander didn’t say anything, he just leaned forward and kissed Thomas passionately on the lips after nodding and everyone cheered loudly.

”A thousand fucking times, yes. Oh my god,  _yes.”_ Alexander whispered against his lips and Thomas slid the ring onto his finger and then picked him up and kissed him slowly and lovingly. 

“I thought you would say no.” Thomas giggled and put him down, holding onto his hips and Alexander looked up at him and mumbled “why?”

”I said yes to you asking me to be your fake boyfriend, why would I say no to marrying you? You’re the love of my life.” Alexander grinned and Thomas just kissed him and Peggy fake gagged. 

“I’m gonna vomit. This is gross.”

”Shut up, that’s how you were when John proposed.” James muttered and she slapped his arm. Eliza giggled and looked at her girlfriend who was right next to her and Angelica sighed.

”Why am I single?”

Alexander shrugged. “Sorry mom.” he playfully giggled and she flung something at him and he ducked. 

Everybody was happy, and everything was going right. Alexander finally felt like he had a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GONNA MAKE Y’ALL CRY BC ITS SO FLUFFY


	15. Epilogue part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas and Alexander get married.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is gonna be them telling their kids how they got together :-)  
> sorry this chapter took so fucking long lmao i’ve been having a bad week

Alexander couldn’t sleep.

He, John, Peggy, Eliza, Maria, and Angelica were all cuddled on several airbeds in Alexander and Thomas’ livingroom of their apartment. Alexander was tossing and turning and shaking his leg anxiously. John was starting to get irritated because Angelica wouldn’t stop complaining about Alexander’s leg shaking. 

“Alex,  _please.”_ John groaned.

Alexander whined and rolled off of the mattress. “John, I can’t sleep!” he groaned and sat up on the ground. “I’m getting  _married_ tomorrow. Tomorrow, Thomas and I are going to be  _husbands,_ that’s huge!” he grinned but his happy expression turned into one of fear. “What if he gets cold feet and says no?” 

Maria sighed and sat up. “Alex, honey, Thomas looks at you like you gave him a million dollars and a puppy at the same time. There’s no way in hell he’s going to say no.” John nodded in agreement.

”Alex, babe.” Eliza sighed at him. “Thomas  _is in love with you._ He wants to spend the rest of his life with you and we know when Thomas wants to do something, he does it. Just like you.” Eliza smiled. “You two are the best match I’ve seen-“ 

“Hey!” Peggy pouted and Eliza glared at her, making her shut up.

”You’re so perfect for each other. It'll all be alright.”

Alexander nodded at all of his friends then crawled back onto the mattress, cuddling next to Angelica and sticking his cold feet on her leg, earning some grumbling and a slap on the stomach. He giggled and just let her cuddle him as he tried to push away his nerves. 

_He would be married tomorrow._

———

“James, where the  _fuck_ are my contact lenses?” Thomas groaned from the bedroom while Lafayette did his best to untangle his hair. Thomas wasn’t having a good hair day, and even more _that_  was an understatement. It was frizzy and stuck up in several directions. Even Lafayette was having a hard time fixing it. James handed Thomas his contact case and Thomas popped them in pretty quickly and James sighed, sitting on the chair in Thomas’ bedroom. Hercules came into the bedroom with Thomas’ suit, he was touching it up and ironing it. Hercules handmade Alexander and Thomas’ suits and made them look perfect and oh so beautiful. Thomas was so thankful that he and Alexander knew such a talented tailor like Hercules. 

After a half hour, Lafayette got Thomas’ curls to look controlled and perfect, he used a lot of gel and  _so many fucking hair products._ Thomas carefully put his suit on and adjusted it, trying to make it look as perfect as possible. James came up to him and pinned the corsage to his suit and looked at him and smiled.

”You’re getting married.” James stated and Thomas nodded. “To Hamilton.” he continued and Thomas chuckled and shook his head.

”I never would’ve guessed it.”

James glanced at his best friend, noticing the look in his eyes. He looked scared, but so happy. He looked so excited. 

Thomas was getting married.

James couldn’t have been happier for Thomas. He knew he was happy, he could see it in his eyes. And James?

Well James was mostly excited to be an uncle if they decided to have kids. 

He liked Alexander, he was happy that Thomas was marrying somebody who kept him grounded and made sure he knew when he was right or wrong or irrational as fuck.

James couldn’t have been happier. 

———

Alexander was rushing around the house, fixing his hair and fixing his suit. Fuck, he really wished Hercules could’ve been there to help. Eliza was touching up his hair while Angelica fixed his suit and Peggy and John talked him down trying to calm him.

”I’m getting married, and I’m terrified but also so fucking excited.” Alexander smiled. “Also I’m marrying  _Jefferson_ of all people.” He scoffed. “If you told me 4 years ago that I’d be marrying Jefferson I would’ve laughed in your face.” he chuckled and shook his head, looking down.

He wouldn’t have it any other way.

———

“Everybody in the limo, let’s go!” John was clapping, trying to get everybody outside. Alexander was squealing, rushing into the limo and he sat next to Angelica. Angelica was trying to get him to stop bouncing while he babbled on saying  _oh my god I’m getting married_ over and over again. Alexander felt his heartbeat increasing, oh god.

He was about to marry the love of his life. 

Alexander was practically squealing at this point, super excited but also really nervous. He wanted to see Thomas  _so badly._

They were standing outside, all of the people in the wedding party. It was a fairly small wedding, Thomas’ mom and siblings came, but not his father. Alexander invited Phillip Schuyler, Hercules and Lafayette’s parents, and his professor George Washington and his wife, whom he had become very close to over the past few years of college. George was also the priest, Alexander had asked him to do the wedding and he agreed. He also invited his brother, but never got a response. Lafayette was walking Alexander down the aisle, since he didn’t exactly have a mother. Everybody was paired off and Thomas was already at the altar, his parents had walked him in. 

Each of the pairs walked out slowly, their walking was timed. After the pairs, Hercules walked out and dropped little flowers on the ground, earning giggles from the small group of people attending the wedding. When Hercules was done, George announced that Alexander would be walking out. Everybody turned to face the back as the doors opened and Lafayette and Alexander were linked arm in arm. Alexander looked up with a huge smile, seeing Thomas.  _God, he looks gorgeous,_  Alexander thought to himself. He felt tears pool in his eyes at the sight of Thomas standing at the altar, waiting for him.

He was about to get married.

Lafayette walked him down the aisle, Thomas looked directly at him and he covered his mouth with one hand, choking on his tears. Alexander smiled widely at him, feeling butterflies because he was about to marry Thomas. Lafayette walked Alexander to the end of the aisle, then stopped and cupped his cheeks.

”Go, mon petit lion. Je t’aime.” Lafayette kisses his cheeks and then his forehead. He let a tear run down his cheek as he stroked Alexander’s cheeks gently. Alexander smiled up at his best friend and gave him a hug. He pulled back and gently let go of Lafayette’s hand and walked slowly up to stand in front of Thomas. Alexander looked up at Thomas and took his hands. He grinned up at Thomas who gave him a huge smile in return. 

This was really happening. 

Alexander and Thomas looked at George who began to speak after he cleared his throat. He smiled at the pair and then looked down. 

“We are gathered here today to witness the joining of two hearts,” George started. He continued to recite what priests do during weddings before beginning to say the vows.

”John, you have Thomas’ ring.” He smiled and John rummaged through his pocket and pulled it out, earning a soft giggle from Alexander.

”Now, they wanted to recite their own vows, but I’m almost a hundred percent sure they got these from a movie.” George chuckled, earning small laughs from the crowd. “Gentlemen, begin.”

Thomas licked his lips and began to speak. “With this hand, I will lift your sorrows.” He spoke loud enough for everybody to hear, but it felt so private and loving to Alexander. It felt like it was just between them two, because it was. “Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness.” Thomas swallowed before he finished. “With this ring, I ask you to be mine.” Alexander felt as if he was about to burst into tears, but he held it in as Thomas slipped the ring onto his left ring finger. 

James handed Alexander Thomas’ ring and Alexander recited the same vows, smiling up at Thomas and slightly tripping over his own words. He laughed softly and slipped the ring onto his ring finger, Thomas bounced in anticipation. 

George gave the two a fond look and he clasped his hands together. “I now pronounce you, husbands.” He smiled and the crowd cheered. “You may kiss the groom.” He said to the both of them and Alexander immediately pulled Thomas close and kissed him slow. It was seamless, it was perfect. It was  _Thomas and Alexander._

They were real, they were perfect. 

And they couldn’t have been happier.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE MORE CHAPTER LEft aftER THIS


	16. Epilogue part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander and Thomas’ kids ask how they met and started dating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg this story was a fucking rollercoaster but it’s over and holy shit ): i’ll be sappy in the end notes

“But  _papa.”_ Philip whined and looked at Alexander with a pleading look. Their 13 year old son had come downstairs telling Alexander about his relationship issues and  _demanding_ to know about Alexander and Thomas’ relationship.

Angelica walked into the living room and smacked Philip on the back of the head, earning a slap on the hand and Alexander sighed and put his laptop on the table. “Will you shut up, Philip? You’re annoying papa.” She grumbled and Philip went to hit her but Alexander gave him a look.

”Don’t be mean, Angie. Philip, don’t hit your sister.” He scolded and pointed his finger at his two kids who just grumbled in response. Alexander sighed and took a sip of his coffee, pulling his legs up on the couch. “Thomas!” Alexander called, his husband was upstairs tidying up a bit as Alexander wrote up some lesson plans. Thomas came running down the stairs, getting scolded by Alexander in the process. He walked over to Alexander and pecked his lips.

”What’s wrong?” he questioned, wondering why he called him downstairs. 

Alexander pulled him down onto the couch to sit with him and he smiled. “The kids want to know how we met.” he said softly and Thomas groaned and laid his head down on his lap. 

“Babe,  _no._ I hate telling this because it makes me sound like an ass-“

”You are one. Now come on, let’s tell them.” Alexander giggled and Thomas smacked his ankle gently. 

Angelica raised an eyebrow, suddenly intrigued by how both of her dads reacted to this. “Now I want to know. Sit, Philip.” she ordered and the two siblings sat on the other couch, facing their parents. 

Thomas sighed and rubbed his eyes underneath his glasses. “Do we have to?”

Alexander shot him a glare and he shut up right away. 

“So it was back in freshman year of high school-“

” _No, Alex._ It was the summer right before. We met because of an open house and you punched me.”

”You  _punched_ dad??” Angelica asked, shocked as she laughed and Philip sighed.

”You two are a train wreck.”

”Oh yeah! I remember now.” Alexander grinned. “We got into the law program at the school and they asked us to debate and we did - he won and I was mad.” He explained. “When we left, he kept arguing so I just,” he paused and chuckled, Thomas was staring up at him with a fond look. “I hit him.”

———

_“You think you know everything?” the tall boy scoffed and Alexander was beginning to grow irritated. “You’re just lucky that you’re small or I would’ve hit you already.”_

_Alexander laughed at that and stepped closer to him, John tried to get him to back up but he didn’t listen._

_”Shut the fuck up.”_

_and with that, Alexander punched him square in the nose._

\------

"Papa, what's wrong with you?" Philip asked and rolled his eyes and Thomas shrugged.

"Philip, honey, I ask myself that every single day and I still don't have an answer."

Alexander popped him on the forehead for this and Thomas just chuckled. Alexander sighed and rubbed his temples. “We were an absolute train wreck.”

”I second that.” Thomas piped up, raising one finger. “We hated each other. We took any chance to curse each other out and argue, we really didn’t like each other at all.” He laughed and looked up at Alexander. “But I have to admit, he was always really cute.” 

Alexander cooed at the and leaned down for a kiss, causing Angelica to fake gag.

 Alexander giggled softly and sighed. “So we went on so many years absolutely  _despising each other.”_ He laughed and looked down at his husband who was already grinning up at him. “And then we got paired to be roommates in college.” he rolled his eyes.

”And they were-“  

“Thomas, you insufferable piece of sh-“

”OH my gOd theY weRE roOmMateS!” Thomas laughed and Alexander tried to shove him off of his lap but Thomas clung onto him tightly and giggled in his ear. 

“We got pared as roommates and for the whole entire first year we fought  _every single day_.” Thomas exaggerated and Alexander rolled his eyes.

”You fought, Tommy.”

”No.”

”Yes.”

”Did not.”

”Did too.”

”James will vouch for me.”

”No, James will agree. Now hush.” Alexander covered his mouth and Thomas licked it, earning a yelp from Alexander and a glare. 

Philip groaned and rested his chin in his hand. “Finish the story!” he was growing impatient. 

“Shut up, Philip.” Angelica muttered and Thomas gave her a scolding parent look. 

“Okay, okay.” Alexander smiled. “So one day, your dad comes in all frantic and gives me coffee and basically tells me to pretend to be his boyfriend because he’s stupid and told James he had one when he totally did not.” Alexander smiled, remembering the event and remembering how angry he was that he agreed. 

“Papa agreed.” Thomas gave Alexander a loving look and Alexander shot him one hack. “He agreed and I was disgusted.” He explained. “We has to kiss and hold hands...” He trailed off and looked to the side. “We had to flirt and cuddle in front of our friends.”

Alexander nodded and he began to remember the moments leading up to when he and Thomas fought that one night. “Every day, little by little as we became friends, I was falling in love.” Alexander whispered. “Every kiss, every hug, he made me fall in love even more.” Alexander looked at his husband with massive heart eyes. “Just like now, I fall in love more every single day.” Alexander smiled and Thomas’ cheeks flushed red. “But, I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t say that I loved the way he held me and how his lips felt on mine and that I loved his voice and how it was smooth as hell.” Alexander sighed. “I couldn’t tell him how badly I wanted to take him out on a date and hold hands with him when we sat in the movie theater together.” Alexander shook his head. “But at a party, he kissed me. I don’t know if he meant it, but he did.” 

Thomas looked at his kids, both of them were on the edge of their seats, waiting for more of the story. 

“He distanced himself for awhile.” Thomas continued and held Alexander’s hand gently in his own. “He didn’t talk to me and he was sleeping at uncle Laf and uncle Herc’s for awhile.” Thomas recalled and he looked down, suddenly feeling sad at the thought. “When he came back, I asked him why and he flipped out telling me he loved me and then just  _left.”_

Angelica had her mouth open and she stared in shock. “And then? And then?!” She squealed and Alexander laughed and raised his eyebrow at her. 

“I found him at a diner, one that we went to a lot.” Thomas smiled, recalling their many dates in that same diner. “I said something once that hurt him while we were there, so we stopped going after awhile.” Thomas explained. “But after this, it was our place. I found your papa and..” Thomas’ smile grew. “I told him I hated him because I was so in love with him-“

”And then I said that was extremely contradicting- in which it was-“

”But was that important, honey?”

Alexander glared and pouted. “It was to me because I kissed you after, for real.” 

Thomas smiled and leaned over to kiss his husband. “Yeah, for real.” He mumbled and pulled back. “We came home and then we.. we kissed and stuff..” he trailed off with a blush, earning a disgusted look from both of his children. “And it was real, we weren’t pretending and I couldn’t have been more happy with everything.” Thomas looked at Alexander who was already looking at him.

”We don’t have to pretend anymore.” Alexander smiled.

”Everything’s how it should be.”

Alexander leaned over and kissed Thomas on the lips softly.

And this time and forever on, it was real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy fuck guys the story is over. thank you all for reading and showing support and commenting and giving feedback because it inspired me and made me even more excited to write this story. this was by far my favorite story i’ve ever written and i’ve written a lot in the past but i really and truly fell in love with this one and i hope you guys did too. <3  
> I have a few new stories planned, each are going to be just as angsty but one is gonna he really smutty lmfao look out for that. anyways, i love y’all so much, thank you for reading. now i’m gonna go finish the half blood prince because i just started the movie. I LOVE Y’all smmmmm

**Author's Note:**

> y’all i love your feedback and i love talking to you


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